Someday Never Comes
by paperwingsandbrokenlegs
Summary: What if Evelyn never got pregnant? What if Danny didn't die? If Rafe and Danny both return, who would she pick? Disclaimer: Don't own anything, everything belongs to michael bay/randall wallace, blah blah blah...
1. Evelyn

_hi all!_

_disclaimer: the movie pearl harbor and all the characters belong to michael bay and randall wallace. i own nothing (sadly...the things i could do with that delicious boy...) and claim no ownership over any aspect of the movie. _

_this is something totally new for me, and i would appreciate any and all feedback. this was inspired in part by chapter 6 of my story 'faith walking on broken glass'. i wanted to take the idea a little further and see what happens. _

_well, enough of my ramblings; the the story speak for itself._

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"I can't find Danny."

"That why you're here? Looking for Danny?" His irritation is clear, but it masks a deeper hurt that she knows is there all the same. "Probably saying goodbye to his squadron. We've been assigned to Doolittle."

"I wasn't looking for Danny. I couldn't have you go away without you understanding something."

"Yeah. You don't have to explain anything." Rafe cuts her off, but it is obvious that he is trying to keep his emotions under lid. He hasn't looked her in the eye since she came here.

"I do, because you're acting like I didn't love you."

He finally drops his packing and turns to her and the pain was so apparent in his eyes that she flinches. "Evelyn, loving you kept me alive. I should've died over there. When l was in that water, I made a deal with God. I told him l was sorry, that l knew I'd been a fool for leaving you, trying to go over there and be a hero and l promised I'd never ask for anything again if l could just see you one more time."

His words tumble out now, faster and faster, as though her prodding has opened the floodgates of emotions that he's been trying to keep in control, and they cut her as much as they cut him.

"And you know what? It was worth it. You kept me alive, Evelyn. You brought me home. So l'm gonna stand by my end of the deal," he pauses for a moment before adding, "I'm gonna walk away and l won't ask you for anything."

Evelyn opens her mouth to say what she came to say, because she cannot let him go without knowing, but he cuts her off again; this time with less anger and cynicism, and she can see that her apparent betrayal has him shaken to the core.

"But l just want to know why. Just tell me that, will you, please? Just tell me why."

"Rafe, you said that I kept you alive. But for all I knew, you were gone. What did I have to keep me alive?" Her voice trembles as she speaks, and Evelyn curses herself for letting her weakness show. "Danny showed me how to live again, and by God Rafe, I love you but I love him too. You broke my heart and he put it back together and that's why."

He shakes his head and looks away, and she takes that as her cue to leave. There was nothing she can say which will have made him feel better; just as there is no simple answer to their problem. If it were anyone else, she would not have hesitated to leave them the moment she saw Rafe on her doorstep, but as Evelyn realised that night, even she did not know the depths of her feelings for Danny. Rafe is her soulmate, if such a clichéd term could be used, but Danny she cares for deeply and the thought of leaving him is something she cannot bear to consider.

Still, it does not matter who she picks now, because they're both leaving her. They are, after all, the heroes of this tragedy and she imagines that there is a bunch of generals in a boardroom arguing over who would get them first. That is the danger of loving military men in times of war, and she is foolish enough to have lost her heart to not one, but two of them.

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_Just a friendly little reminder to review :)_


	2. Rafe

_this was unbelievably difficult to write. un-fucking-believably horrendous to relive. do review._

_disclaimer:refer to first chapter._

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The ringing in his head drowns out everything else at first; the alien shouting of Jap soldiers, the sound of grass rustling, his own men's panicked voices and the cold night air that seeps through to the bone. Then Rafe feels rope snaking around his ankles and fights to return to consciousness. This is not the time to be lying around wallowing in misery. The hardened eyes of the Jap tying him up are the first thing he sees and he tries to reach for his gun, but pain shoots through his right hand – he's probably broken it again. There's something important, something he's forgotten and he tries to remember what it is Doolittle said about being captured when a gasp to his left draws his attention.

Some Jap bastard has pulled Danny to his feet and keeps a sturdy hold on his jacket while the latter chokes, and Rafe is thrown back in time to Tennessee where he's seen all this before. Another soldier shows out of nowhere with a piece of wood and he watches in horror as they tie his friend _his baby brother_ to it like Christ on a cross. Rafe barely notices the way his fingers scrabble at the wood, or the blood running freely down his shirt because his eyes are locked on Danny's; large brown eyes full of fear and pain and the knowledge that this is the end and silent pleading against this fate.

There is a gun in Anthony's holster, and he uses his left hand to grab it, not because he wants to be a hero or because he can but because he's made a promise to himself that nothing is going to get to Danny unless it gets through him first and he's going to be damned if those motherfuckers take him away after all they've been through. The first soldier he shoots is the one holding Danny up; next is the guy who tied his legs together like he's a chicken to be sold at the market. The other Japs are swinging their long, heavy rifles around at him and he manages to take one more down when the gun jams.

It happens so suddenly that he stops thinking for a moment and stares blankly at the malfunctioning gun, and then up at the Jap pointing a gun at him; his card's been called, might as well kiss his ass goodbye now and Rafe feels real fear. And that is when it happens.

Danny shoves the Jap aside, saving him from certain death and putting himself in the line of fire. This singular, selfless act of courage has him shocked, but spurs the rest of the guys into action. Red pulls out his gun and shoots his captor and Gooz suddenly yells "Grenade!" seconds before it goes off, throwing Japs into the air with the force of the explosion.

There is so much smoke and fire and noise that it takes him longer than it should to see Danny lying on the ground, too still and eyes wide, staring ahead at nothing he can see. It is then that he knows, just knows, that something is terribly wrong.

"Danny?"

And then he's crouching over his friend, trying not to look at the blood leaking from his torso because it means that he's been shot and there's not a single thing a bunch of pilots in the middle of a paddy field can do about wounds like that.

"Easy, easy, I gotcha," he says, making quick work of the rope around Danny's hands, ignoring the pained gasps that's coming from the boy on the ground.

"I'm not-" he coughs and Rafe is glad because he never wants to hear the remainder of that sentence, but Danny is nothing if not stubborn. "I'm not gonna make it."

"Yes you are, yes you are," he repeats, as much for himself as Danny, because Danny is going to have to make it. He will not _cannot_ consider the alternative. "Look at me-"

"I'm so cold, I'm so cold." Danny appears to have picked up on his repetition. Damn if that kid isn't always trying to be him, even though he's so much better than Rafe will ever be. Danny tries to sit up but that's not happening anytime soon and he instead catches a handful of Rafe's jacket, pulling him closer. His reaction is more instinct than thought; he puts an arm under Danny's shoulders and holds him close, offering what little warmth he can. Danny's head rests on his chest and he can see the tears that stain his cheeks. Rafe rests his own cheek against his head and sobs despite himself, because after everything he's done, it's come down to this.

"Hey Rafe, can you do me a favour?"

"What?"

"Can you get someone else to carve my name on a tombstone?" Danny sobs at the final word, and Rafe wants him to shut up because that kind of talk's never done anyone any good.

"You're not going to die." Rafe drops him and regrets immediately how harsh he is, but he needs to get through to Danny and he needs to be able to look him in the eye. "Look at me, listen to me; you ain't gonna die, do you hear me?"

But Danny isn't even listening properly; he's listless and choking and this little voice in Rafe's head whispers that that's what happens when bullets go through your lungs and you're drowning in your own blood but he silences it because there is no way Danny is going to die. Not today. Not for a long time. Simply telling him that isn't working, though. "Danny, you can't die. You know why? Because Evelyn's waiting for you, remember? Huh? You're going to go back to her, aren't ya?"

Danny catches hold of his jacket and pulls him closer again. "No, you are."

Rafe is about to say something that reflects his exasperation when Danny's fingers go slack; he catches his friend's hand, holds it against his chest and cradles him as the tears fall freely down his face. "Danny, you're my best friend. No, you're my brother and you can't leave me now. Danny, please, just hang on for me. Please." He's begging and he knows it, but he'll grovel on his knees if that's what it takes.

Danny's eyes are trained on him now, and he sees in them not fear, understanding or acceptance; only sympathy. Rafe wants to laugh but he sobs instead, because only Danny would feel sorry for someone else when he is bleeding to death. "Yeah, that's it, just hang on for me, okay? You keep fighting, 'cause I didn't teach you to quit."

There is no reply and Rafe belatedly realises that he's rocking back and forth, rocking the boy in his arms like a mother. Still, Danny is conscious and breathing and that is all he can ask for right now.

Suddenly, someone shouts "Hold your fire!" and he recognises that someone as Ripley. Rafe looks up, sees a bunch of people approaching. One of them holds an American flag up. Red and Gooz look as shell-shocked as he feels, tear tracks staining their soot-blackened faces. "It's the Chinese!"

"Danny, you hear that? It's the Chi-" he stops in mid-sentence because it takes only one short moment to realise that the boy in his arms has stopped breathing.


	3. Danny

_third chapter up. still no reviews _:(

_disclaimer: refer to first chapter._

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Darkness.

The sensation of being held underwater overwhelms him.

Where is he?

There is a weird smell in the air, sharp and strong.

There are sounds in the distance, too low and indistinct for him to properly hear.

Belatedly, he realises that maybe the darkness is due to his closed eyes and blinks. Or maybe not. Never has moving his eyelids seemed so impossible; try as he might, they're not responding. Finally, after he's ready to give up, they let up a little and his vision is flooded by white light. After a few blinks, he thinks he's got this whole seeing thing under control. Opening his eyes properly, he looks around him.

It's not anywhere he recognises. There are white curtains around him, and voices are coming from beyond them; whispering words he cannot make out.

He lies there and wonders what happened; what is the last thing he remembers?

And then it comes flooding back. Planes. Fuel, or the lack thereof. Japs everywhere; land somewhere else. But he didn't. Why?

Rafe.

And his heart leaps into his throat. Where is Rafe?

He has to find Rafe.

He sits up quickly, and immediately doubles over as a sudden flash of white-hot pain knifes through his chest. It's hard to breathe but that doesn't matter because he's got to find Rafe and make sure he's okay.

On unsteady feet, he pushes the curtains open to the sight of small, round windows and other, similar curtained cubicles. One of the curtains are drawn though, and a man lying on a bed stares at him. He wants to ask him if he knows where he can find the squadron, but finds himself unable to form a proper sentence in his head, let alone voice it.

Stumbling for the exit, grabbing hold of whatever offers him temporary support, he goes out into a corridor that smells just as bad as the room. His vision is getting worse and he doesn't know how long his legs are going to hold up but none of that strikes panic into his heart like the thought of losing Rafe all over again. His insides ache and he can't breathe _can't fucking breathe_ and it feels like the walls are closing in on him when-

"Danny!"

Danny. That's him. He looks up to see Rafe running towards him and all he can think is thank God. Then the world tilts on a strange axis, the floor rises up and -

Darkness.

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The first thing he notices is that his hand is warm. It's not like the rest of him is especially cold, but his hand is wrapped in something that apparently radiates heat.

Then someone says "C'mon Danny, open your eyes."

Hah. Easier said than done, although he does not know why he thinks that. Still, he tries, and opens his eyes to the sight of Rafe worriedly clutching his hand. Rafe, who looks okay, apart from the white bandage around his right arm. Those damn white curtains are behind him and Danny wants to rip them open so he can see something but he's too tired to do anything except lie there quietly.

"Hey, kiddo."

Rafe is watching him intently, and he's still holding Danny's hand in his own.

"You okay?" he manages to rasp out; his voice is completely unrecognisable as his own and he's ready to swear that there's sandpaper where his throat ought to be.

Rafe laughs, but his eyes glisten with unshed tears and he grips Danny's hand even tighter. "Yeah, I'm okay. You saved me, remember?"

And he does remember now. Feeling a happy sort of warmth spread through his chest, he lets his eyes close again and falls into a welcoming darkness.

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This time it is like waking up from a long and satisfying nap. He comes to awareness gradually, feeling not panic and disorientation but contentment.

"Danny?"

It's Rafe, and that is more than enough motivation for Danny to open his eyes and be fully awake. "Yeah."

Rafe opens his mouth to say something, but changes his mind and shakes his head instead. For the first time since this whole thing happened, Danny gets a good look at his best friend. On the surface, Rafe looks fine; he's alive, which is more than can be said of most of their friends, and he's unhurt. One the surface. But he has dark circles under his eyes, a couple of days' worth of stubble and hunched shoulders; to all the world he may look fine, but Danny knows that he is _this_ close to breaking.

"It's okay," he says, and means it.

At first Rafe looks like he is going to speak, but tears well up in his eyes and his chin starts wobbling dangerously. All of a sudden he's clinging to Danny for all he's worth, sobbing so hard that the younger man can feel each shudder as if they are his own. His right arm is pinned under Rafe and tears quickly soak through the thin white t-shirt he's wearing, but Danny doesn't care. He doesn't care that so far a doctor and three nurses have poked their heads through the curtain to see what all the racket was about. He doesn't care that his arm goes numb after a while, or that his chest is starting to hurt where Rafe's face is pressed against it. Danny doesn't care because for the first time in what has been a long year, he feels like he has come home.

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	4. Evelyn II

hi y'all!

i know this took a while, but i hope it's worth the wait.

The sun is shining today, so bright that she has to wear his sunglasses. It was only after Danny left that she found it in her bag one day, and remembered glorious days spent on beaches with absolutely nothing to do but enjoy the moment. If she had known at that time how soon it would all be taken away, she would have committed each moment to memory. She remembers how they shared his sunglasses and how he would squint when she was wearing them.

Her heart beats so fast when the plane lands that Evelyn fears she will pass out. That's not the only thing she fears; she is afraid of what she will see when the door opens. She doesn't want to think about it, but she is not stupid. She knows that the chances of the both of them coming back to her are relatively low; that there are any survivors at all is a miracle, given the mayhem she witnessed in the operations room the other day. Evelyn shudders at the memory despite the blazing sun, feeling a sudden chill settle in her bones.

The door opens and any coherent thought is suddenly beyond her. It seems like an eternity later, but Rafe is the first one to emerge from the belly of the plane. He stands at the doorway and their eyes meet over the tarmac, and Evelyn realises with a jolt that she cannot read the emotions swirling within them. Fear chills her heart; where is her Danny? Before she can panic though, he is there, standing behind Rafe 's shoulder; his dark eyes take in everything around them, the photographers, crew and family members before finally coming to rest on her.

They step down the stairs and she can see the others behind them; Red and Gooz, but not Anthony. Her boys look fine, despite the bandage wrapped around Rafe's right arm and the white gauze she can see peeking from Danny's collar, and Evelyn knows that she is the luckiest woman here. The civilians gathered here have been told to stay outside the metal gates, but she finds herself walking through them anyway. There are coffins now being unloaded from the plane and the sight of death puts urgency into her step. As the distance between them closes, she breaks into a half-run, driven by the senseless need to hold them and make sure that they are really here now.

Rafe opens his arms and she reaches forward to fall into his strong embrace; his right arm is pinned between their bodies, but his left one holds her tight and she breathes in the scent of him. When she opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is Danny's brown eyes and feels a little bit guilty for not going to him first. Wiggling out of Rafe's grasp, she reaches out to Danny and –

- finds Rafe restraining her, his form between her and Danny, holding her at arm's length.

"Easy, don't go jumpin' on him."

So angry is she at this perceived act of petty jealousy that it takes a little while for the words to sink in, and then her heart seizes. She looks Danny over once more and sees that he is holding himself a little stiffly; he is paler too, and there are hollows in his cheeks. Tentatively, she lays a careful hand over his heart like she did back when things were still beautiful and innocent, and is relieved to feel him breathe. Danny leans forward slightly, resting his forehead against hers in a move that is again painfully familiar and she stands on her tiptoes to catch his lips in a long-awaited-for kiss.

Rafe is still standing there waiting when they finally let go of each other. "Come on, you know know we gotta go to the hospital."

She thinks he's addressing her until she catches Danny pulling a face.

"Oh, come on Rafe. I'm fine." Before Rafe or she can say anything, he adds "Can't we at least get something to eat first? I'm hungry."

It's only when they're seated in the Black Cat Café and Danny orders coffee and ice-cream that she realises how easily he's played the both of them.

They eat in silence for a while; not an uncomfortable silence born out of the awkwardness of their situation, but the good silence of companionship; the joy of merely having the opportunity to be together.

"So what happened?" she asks when she's unable to bear the sight of Rafe bolting down spaghetti like he hasn't had decent food in ages any longer.

"Ask him." It's a throwaway statement, but she can detect a hint of anger in his tone.

She turns to look at Danny, who holds her gaze for barely a moment before he resumes picking at his melting ice-cream. "It's nothing, really. We had barely enough fuel to reach China, and there were Japs there when we landed. There was a bit of a gunfight, and Igotshot."

She drops her fork.

He looks at her from under his bangs, a hint of amusement in his eyes. She doesn't see what is so funny.

"I'm fine."

When that doesn't appear to reassure her, he adds "Rafe's gonna take longer to get better than I am."

"Hey!"

It's then that she really notices the bandage around Rafe's right arm; it's the second time he's broken that arm. "What happened to you?"

He shrugs. "Bad landing."

Then she remembers the patch of gauze on Danny's neck. "And what happened to your neck?"

"Bad landing."

They can be infuriating when they want to, and Evelyn gets a glimpse of what they must have been like growing up. There is obviously something here that they don't want to tell her and she can't help but wonder if it is bad news.

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She sees them again in the hospital, which is still almost full of patients recovering from December's attack, and new casualties brought in on ships. Pearl Harbor is no longer the centre of America's military might for the simple reason that they are at war and her ships are all in different parts of the world now. Only the Arizona docks there permanently, entombed as she is in the deep green waters. Danny has to report to one of the doctors there and Rafe is free to go where he wants for the time being, but he is there too.

She is doing the hateful, mind-numbing duty of stock-taking when she hears Rafe's voice in the hallway. Stepping outside, she finds his face contorted in a scowl and Danny trying to look impassive.

"What's going on?"

Rafe points at Danny. "Yesterday, he was lying in bed drugged up to the gills. Today he thinks it's a good idea to check out AMA."

"Look, the doctor said that all I need is rest. I can get plenty of rest anywhere, not stuffed in a hospital where I _will_ die of boredom."

"So you're staying at the barracks?" It doesn't sound like a good idea to her, knowing the boisterous nature of boys and the sometimes unpredictable nature of gunshot wounds.

He shrugs. "I don't know. Technically, I don't have to, since we're off duty till further notice."

Then she gets a brilliant idea, one that sends a shiver down her spine as thinks of it. "Well, you could stay at my place."

The incredulous looks on their faces are comical in their similarity. "Uhh…is that allowed?"

"No, but when has that ever stopped either of you?"

Rafe smiles.

"Look, Martha got shipped off with the USS Virginia and the other girls were transferred back to the mainland. It's only me and Sandra who are here now, and the new girls don't get here until June. The house is pretty much empty and it's a lot quieter than the barracks will ever be." The more she talks, the more she's convinced that this is a good idea; the house is too quiet, and this was she'll be able to keep her eye on Danny, at least for a while.

"I don't want to get you into trouble."

"I think it's a good idea." Surprised that Rafe took her side, but grateful nonetheless, she crosses her arms and waits for Danny to come around.

"Okay."

"Good. I'll see you there after my shift."

She turns to leave, but is stopped by his hand on her shoulder. Danny grins and sticks his hand out. "Keys."

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As she stands on her porch and peers into the seemingly empty house, Evelyn thanks providence that she had the foresight to make a spare set a long time ago, in simpler times. The lights are all off, and the house looks almost sad and haunting in the late afternoon sun.

"Hello?"

There is no response. She wonders if she should have insisted on Danny following the doctor's advice, seeing how he is seemingly incapable of sitting still for a good stretch of time when she hears a soft voice coming from the bedroom that she shares with Barbara and, once upon a time, Betty. Not really knowing why, she tiptoes to the door and pushes it open just a little bit.

They're both there. Danny is fast asleep, flat on his back with an arm curled protectively over his midriff and Rafe sits on the edge of the bed, pinning his stripes and badges onto his blazer one-handed because he is threading his fingers through Danny's bangs in a gentle, repetitive motion so _maternal_ that it takes her breath away. She stands there still as a mouse and watches them, because this is the side of them she never got to see. Rafe is talking quietly, even though no one is actually listening to him, about the tropical weather and how different it is from England.

Then Rafe looks up and sees her; she walks in and sits down next to him carefully. He doesn't say anything, just goes on working on his blazer and stroking Danny's hair.

"I've seen mothers love their children less."

"He doesn't have a mother."

She knows, but thinks it worked out in the end. "He has you."

He smiles. "Exactly."

"Rafe, what happened?"

Rafe holds her gaze for a moment, and shakes his head. "Evelyn, I…I'd rather not talk about it now, okay? I can't. I mean…he stopped breathing, twice. Twice. The doctors on the ship were more concerned about my damn arm because they thought he wasn't gonna make it."

"Is that why you're so angry?"

"Angry?"

She wants to laugh at his feigned ignorance. Does he really think she's that blind? "I know you, Rafe. You're mad about something."

"No, it ain't that. It's…it's that he nearly died and it shouldn't have happened. I mean, it didn't have to happen!"

"What are you talking about?"

He sighs again. "The whole mission went belly-up, that's what."

She knows, because she was there. Hearing the panicked voices of the men in the control room was like living through that day all over again; she remembers sitting there at the typewriter and crying when they lost radio contact with the pilots. She has no memory of how she made it back to the house. The only thing she remembers is sobbing on her bed and the worried faces of the rest of the girls as they tried and failed to comfort her. She realises that she's drifted off into her thoughts and Rafe is talking.

"– so the Japs were basically just waiting for us when we landed. I got a gun, started shooting at 'em and then it jams. I thought that was it, ya know? I mean, how long can you go on cheating death, right?"

Evelyn suddenly wishes that she hadn't asked, since her heart is clenching at the thought of them being so close to death.

"And Danny, he just…just shoves the Jap outta the way and stands there in front of me, like 'here I am, unarmed and tied up, shoot me instead!'"

"Hey, I didn't say anything," Danny drawls, and snaps their attention to him.

"Weren't you asleep?" Rafe's hand still moves through his hair, but neither seem to mind.

"I'm half-lit."

She takes that to mean that he's half-awake, but Rafe laughs and says "Freakin' lightweight."

"What's half-lit?"

"It's a slang. Means really, really tipsy," Danny explains, voice still sleep-heavy.

"You're drunk?"

"It's the painkillers. It makes him drowsy."

"It's not a party, being drowsy all the time."

The dark glint is back in Rafe's eyes, and his demeanour changes from carefree to wound-up in the blink of an eye. "It could have been avoided."

Danny looks half-tired and half-exasperated, and she wonders if they are going to start arguing again.

"Whaddaya want me to say, Rafe? That I'm sorry? That I won't do it again? I'm not and I will."

Rafe opens his mouth to say something, but Danny cuts him off. "You'd have done it."

"That's different."

"Man, you've looked out for me all my life. You sacrifice yourself for me over and over. Don't you think I'd do the same thing for you?"

It's a good thing they're not paying attention to her right now, because Evelyn is _this_ close to breaking down in tears. While she knew that they were close, almost like brothers, she realises now how she underestimated the depth of loyalty and affection they had for each other; to the point where they were literally willing to lay their lives down for the other. This is what she came between.

"At least I got to save your ass for a change."

Rafe shakes his head, but there is a smile on his lips and gratitude shining from his eyes.

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there's a supernatural 'tribute' in this chappie. it ought to be a piece of cake for supe fans to catch.

as always, reviews will be kept in a fluffy basket and given lots of love.


	5. Doolittle

_Hey everyone! Here's the latest chappie._

_On another note, I am having exams currently, so don't expect any updates until after the 28th of January._

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The house is a simple one, but strategically situated; it has a perfect view of the harbor and the mountains beyond. Doolitle wonders where the Navy found the money to rent such lovely quarters for their nurses, and decides that to ask Kimmel when he sees him again. The reason he, a pilot and commander of a vast squadron, is here on private Navy property today is that those two intractable crop-dusters from Tennessee are this close to being disciplined and commended at the same time. Exactly how they pull this off is baffling.

He walks all the way to the front door and knocks for the sake of courtesy; it is, after all, nurses' quarters. It would not do for him, a married man, to just barge in to where women might be running around in their underthings. A moment later, he wonders who he is kidding. A moment after that, MacCawley opens the door, surprise written clearly on his features. "Sir?"

"I assume Walker is around, seeing how you are here."

He doesn't say anything, but then again there is no need to. As if the other is going to be anywhere apart from under the watchful eye of his protector.

"Come in, sir," he says, opening the door fully and stepping aside. They know they're in trouble.

Walker is sitting on the settee in the hall, feet up on the coffee table and nose buried in a book, looking a little worse for wear but otherwise fine. He looks up from the book, eyes wide with surprise and quickly stands up. Doolittle does not miss the wince that accompanies this action.

"Sit, sit."

Rafe moves to stand beside Danny, but neither heed his command. When have they ever?

"I said sit. I'm not here in a formal capacity today."

Their features relax and Rafe watches carefully as Danny sits before lowering himself into the settee.

"Do you know what I was doing yesterday?"

Danny shakes his head, but Rafe, ever the smart-ass, says "Running a presidential campaign, sir? I'd vote for you."

He chooses to ignore the comment. "I was sitting in my office when my wife chided me for not sending you brave boys a basket of fruits. While I have little I idea what good a basket of fruits would do you, I decided to heed her advice. Imagine my surprise when the hospital tells me that they have no patient by the name of Walker."

Danny has the grace to look contrite, but he knows that it is merely a front. That boy has never shown remorse for anything except when he's sitting in an office.

"I then tried to call MacCawley to deliver my condolences and see if I can make it for the funeral, but he's missing too."

This gets a smile from Danny, but Rafe is glaring daggers at him. It was a rather crude joke about a sensitive topic.

"So how did you know to look for us here?"

"I didn't. I went to hospital to sort things out and when I mentioned your names, one of the nurses directed me here. Perhaps now you can tell me what the hell you're doing staying in the Navy nurses' quarters? And maybe Walker can tell me how many regulations you've breached along the way; I'm sure he knows."

"Technically, none, sir."

It was a rhetorical question, and the answer is unexpected. "What?"

"Well, sir, we're on medical leave now and we are free to go wherever we want. I signed out AMA but that is only inadvisable, not illegal. And since we're staying here in a civil capacity as acquaintances of the nurses, the rule against fraternising with female officers does not apply. In fact, the only people in breach of any regulations are the nurses, because they let us stay here, but with all due respect sir, that is an issue for the Navy and not the Air Corps." Danny finishes this litany looking like the cat that ate the canary, and Rafe is practically beaming with pride. The cheek of those two…

"It's nice to see that being shot down has done nothing to your sense of disrespect for authority," he says wryly. "Anyway, I came here to deliver some good news. You're both being awarded the Gold Star for courage under fire, and the president himself is presenting Danny with the Distinguished Flying Cross for exceptional skill and bravery. Congratulations."

Their reactions could not have been more comical. Rafe smacks his shoulder good-naturedly, but Danny sits where he is looking shell-shocked before exclaiming "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me? Why isn't Rafe getting one, or the rest of the guys?"

Now it's Rafe's turn to be surprised. "Because I wasn't the idiot who landed right in the middle of Japs knowing that they were there."

"I have heard testimonies from the rest of the men that it was you who provided them with the element of surprise and the…inspiration to take on the Japs."

Danny sits there sputtering in silence for a moment, and then the confusion in his features gives way to weariness. He leans back and Doolittle knows that he won't hear anymore about the issue. Rafe on the other hand will not be so lucky.

"That is not all I came for." In fact, it was the reason he was here in person, but now that he was here, Doolittle felt a twinge of uneasiness. "You may have already heard that I am being transferred to England."

Rafe smirks. "Those Luftwaffe boys'll give ya a run for your money, sir."

"My job is to find a way to sustain a campaign of daily raids on Germany."

That wipes the smirk off his face, and they sit in silence as the reality of what Doolittle is being asked to do sinks in. He reacted similarly when he received the news, but after the Tokyo raid, nothing seems impossible. "I want you boys to come with me."

Danny's first reaction, unsurprisingly, is to turn to look at Rafe; it is the latter's reaction, or rather the lack of one, that worries him. The stony-faced silence gives way to a sigh, and when Rafe speaks his voice is weary. "I never thought I'd be saying this, but I am done. I'm done with fighting and dying and losing everything I care about."

He's not all that surprised to hear Rafe's words; they have been repeated to him by men of all capabilities and ages. He should have seen it earlier, in the way he looked like he was defending precious territory when answering the door. Danny looks shocked. The news is not something that Rafe would have wanted to share unless absolutely necessary.

"If you ordered me to go, sir, I will. I'm not some yellow-bellied deserter." The hard edge of pride tints his voice again, but that one moment of weakness has given away the truth; that Rafe no longer has the heart for active combat. Doolittle needs him, but he is not cruel.

"I'll sign your release papers and have them delivered to you. Just promise me one thing; if at some point you want to come back, contact me first?"

Rafe nods, gratitude apparent.

"Well, what about you?"

Danny blinks at him for a moment, but Rafe interjects before the former can say anything. "I was talking about the both of us, sir."

"I never said-"

They obviously need time to talk this through. "Look, you don't have to give me an answer today. When you're coming to the end of your medical leave, call me. How long are you boys off, anyway?"

"6 months," Rafe says. "Him too."

Doolittle smiles a little. If anybody deserves some time off, these two do. He's watched them grow from gangly 18 year olds into fighting men any father would be proud of; part of the reason he's glad that Rafe rejected his offer stems from the fact that he cares about them too much to be happy to send them into danger again. That is why he'll willingly sign Rafe's release forms, and Danny's too, and happily wave them off into whatever idyllic lives they choose to live after this.

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_C'mon, leavea girl a review, eh? Cheer me up after all this horrendous studying and stress, it will!_


	6. Rafe II

_hi y'all! _

_Before we move on to the story, I've got a bit of shameless self-promotion to do. I've written a story called 'Evolution' for the Faculty, and well, maybe you'd be interested in checking it out. For those not in the know, the Faculty is an excellent movie starring Josh; it's really worth the watch. _

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_The meeting with President Roosevelt was both a humbling and elating experience; never did Rafe imagine that he, a simple crop-duster's boy from rural Tennessee, would one day be personally honoured by the president of the United States himself. _

_It was a quiet, low-key ceremony that took place in the Oval Office. In attendance were the honourees, Doolittle, the President and several presidential aides. As he leant forward to allow the wheelchair-bound man to pin the medal to his chest, he felt an unexpected stab of sadness so profound that he found himself too choked up to properly thank him. They had been through so much and as much as everyone believed that he was a hero, brave and strong, he knew that that Rafe was gone; in his place was an older, wiser wearier man. _

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Sitting in his military-sponsored hotel room thinking about the sudden attack of melancholy, Rafe comes to an even more startling realisation. He does not feel, at 26, like a man whose future lies ahead of him, but a man who has already lived through his best years and is now awaiting his moment of rest. He does not doubt that he has at least four more decades left, but at this point, he wonders, what is he living for?

He once thought that being a combat pilot was the be all and end all of his existence. A mere four months in the seat of a Hawker Hurricane had disabused him of that notion. At that point, he was sustained by a strong sense of patriotic duty. After the raid, even that had evaporated; he has done enough fighting to last a lifetime. He would never have thought it possible, but if the price of leaving the air corps is that he will never fly a proper plane again, it is a price he is willing to pay.

The idea of settling down with a nice girl, the last refuge for defeated soldiers like himself, brings a cynical smile to his lips; at one time, he wanted nothing more. Now, even that is lost to him. It is not that he begrudges Danny his relationship with Evelyn. On the contrary, he is genuinely happy for the both of them in a way he never thought possible before. Nearly losing something you value more than your own life really puts things in perspective, he supposes. No, he is not jealous or resentful of their relationship. It is just that he feels so lost and purposeless now that the idea of living for another year, let alone forty, seems an unbearable burden rather than a gift.

Rafe enters Danny's room without knocking, seeking some respite from his gloomy thoughts, and who better to cheer him up than his friend? Said friend is fast asleep, however, curled on his side in a semi-foetal position that indicates that he is still feeling the effects of making such a long journey in so short a time. The stubborn bastard won't admit that he is less than fine and is so good at keeping up pretences that Rafe sometimes forgets that it was less than a fortnight ago that he held him in his arms and begged him to live.

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_The rest of the guys practically exploded with pride and excitement when he stepped off the plane, but Danny had looked almost embarrassed to meet their eyes. Rafe knew what the problem was; that he thought it was unfair that they were not being awarded for their courage the way he was his. He really had no idea how to explain to Danny that nobody begrudged him the medal, or that they really did think of him as the hero of the raid; it was something that he would have realise on his own._

_Now that they were alone, he turned to Danny. "You aren't going to tell the President that you don't really deserve the DFC, are ya?"_

_Danny shrugged. "If he asks, it'd be unfair not to."_

_"God, could you be more of a wet blanket? Someone gives you a medal, you take it and smile for the cameras. What's so hard about that?"_

_"Yeah, they're giving me a medal for killing Anthony. Woohoo."_

_"Even if you did, and I'm not saying you did, you saved me, Red, Ripley and Gooz. I'd say the balance is in your favour."_

_Danny fell silent. There was something more to this than he is letting on; some other reason why his friend was so damned adamant that he did not deserve the medal._

_"You don't understand."_

_"I can't if you won't tell me."_

_"When you said that there were Japs everywhere, and then landed right in the middle of them, the only thought I had was that you'd died once and I couldn't... I couldn't go through that again. I wasn't thinking of the danger I was putting Gooz or Anthony in. I wasn't brave or smart or anything. I was selfish."_

_There was nothing Rafe could say to that, so he just reached over adjusted the angle of Danny's cap. It was such a complete perversion of logic that he did not know where to begin setting it straight, or if he even could._

_"Just remember to smile at the cameras and you'll be fine."_

XXXXX

Speaking of medals, where did Danny put it anyway? The coveted DFC was awarded for only the most exceptional flying; the greatest display of courage. Rafe shakes his head. Display of courage his ass. It was more like a reckless disregard of personal safety that earned him the medal, and as much as he is proud of Danny for everything he had done, he will never get over what might have happened. A cursory glance around the room reveals the velvet-covered box to be sitting on the dresser, right beside a plate of complementary biscuits. Sniggering quietly, he snatches a biscuit; who would have guessed that one day they would be guests of the Corps at a schmaltzy hotel with free biscuits and bellboys and warm hand towels? This was the same damn Army Air Corps that is too cheap to supply the barracks with hot water. Even the cash-strapped, war-stricken RAF manages to scrounge up hot water for its pilots, although he suspects that it has more to do with the prevention of a mass outbreak of pneumonia than any great show of generosity. It is true then, that officers in the Army really lived the high life. Too bad that he has chosen this time to check out of it.

The biscuits are good; they're soft and flaky and he suspects that they were made with real butter. He takes two this time and happily stuffs his face, vowing not to let them go to waste. He who sleeps loses his biscuits.

"Pig."

He jumps in the middle of swallowing. The unfortunate combination leave Rafe pounding helplessly at his chest, trying to dislodge the fist-sized lump in his airways; it would be a shame to survive the raid only to choke on free biscuits to the sound of Danny's laughter.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he finally asks, turning to glare at his supposed friend. A small part of him relishes the fact that they can banter like they used to.

"Oh, you don't need my help."

"I hope you choke on them too." It's a rather nasty thing to say and anyone else would have been offended, but this is them and they know that there is no venom in the words. "Then I'll stand around and laugh."

"Hey, Rafe." The change in Danny's tone is impossible to miss. He's bringing up something sensitive and Rafe feels the weight of the world descend on his shoulders once again. "What now?"

"What d'you mean?"

"We can't stay in the nurses' quarters forever. And Evelyn still hasn't picked-"

Rafe can see where he is going, and cuts him off. "She did. She picked you the moment she didn't just leave you when I returned. Don't turn this into an issue."

"Fine. Forget that. You asked Doolittle to let you go. What are you going to do after this?"

What wouldn't he give to know himself? "I…I haven't really figured that out yet. Honestly, I just wanna go home. Live a simple life. That's all I want."

Danny's eyes soften, almost with pity. "Rafe, you know it's never going to be same, right?"

"I can't go on like this. We may not be able to go back to the way we were, but we can try and at least reach some sort of middle ground. Aren't you tired of this?"

Danny does not answer him, so he asks again. "Whatever happened to that whole war is wrong thing?"

"It's still wrong, but…I just never thought about life beyond the corps, you know? You didn't. I mean…what the hell else is there to do?"

Rafe sighs and moves to sit beside his friend. These are questions which he has been asking himself, to no avail. What comfort could he possible give Danny? "I'm just as lost as you, man, but when's that ever stopped us before?"

Danny still does not look completely convinced.

"Oh, come on. Remember that time we decided to make those wings and I fell off the roof in them, and my Pa banned us from playing outside the entire summer?"

Danny looks incredulous. "We? I told you they wouldn't work, you were the one-"

"Anyway, we thought that was the end of it, didn't we? Like we were handed a death sentence or something, but we managed to play our flying games inside just as well. The broken leg didn't stop us from ruling the roost, did it?"

"Yeah, yeah." His friend obviously did not think that there was a viable solution for their current problem, but he believes him when he says that they will find one, and that is all Rafe needs to believe in it himself. Mission accomplished, he leaves the bed for another one of those flaky, buttery pieces of delight and crams one into his mouth. Turning around, he catches Danny's raised eyebrows.

"What?"

"Lay off the cookies, Chubby MacChubberson. I can see your gut hanging over your belt."

"Fuck you." He's about to say something about how Danny is showing signs of weight gain as well, but a closer look reveals this to be untrue. His once cherubic cheeks, irresistible to pinch-happy older women, are sunken and his shoulder blades are visible through his shirt. "Hey, are you feeling okay?"

Danny rolls his eyes and nearly growls. "I swear, the next person who asks me if I'm okay is gonna get hit. I'm fine." He wears the grumpy look for a moment, but brightens up quite quickly. "Hey, did you hear about Gooz?"

"No. What about Gooz?"

"He patented his fin and-"

"His what?"

"His surfboard fin. Anyway, this company bought the design for 50,000 dollars."

It takes Rafe a moment to wrap his mind around the figure, and he lets out a low whistle. "Good God."

"I know."

"I mean, the things he could do with that money…"

"Twenty bucks says he blows it on underwear catalogues or mechanical pianos or something equally stupid."

And there it is. Danny always sounds mean-spirited when it comes to Gooz. He's caustic in his sarcasm for the Mississippi native, but then picked him as co-pilot and even enquired about his well-being over Anthony's. "You don't like him very much."

"Of course I like him. He just hasn't got a lick of sense, that's all."

"I'm going back." That catches the both of them by surprise.

"What?" Danny's not the only one who is surprised by the sudden announcement, although he's the one who checks his watch. "It's only eleven. We should go down to the bar, have a drink or something."

"No, I mean, I'm going back. To Tennessee."

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_well, that's all for now. do review; my muse is holding darling Danny for ransom!_


	7. Danny II

_hi y'all!_

_Here's another shameless plug for another one of my fics. It's called 'O Death' and it's largely about Danny. Do read and review it :)_

_To kittyfan23 - thanks for the reviews, doll :)_

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"Why aren't you eating?"

Rafe's voice draws Danny's concentration away from the important task of trying not to upchuck, something his stomach has been threatening to do since he stepped into this greasy-spoon diner. He spears a safely-tasteless crouton and nibbles on it, trying not to look silly. "Yes, I am."

Rafe is not fooled. "Pushing your food around the plate don't qualify as eating," he says sharply. But his features soften a moment later, and he leans forward to ask "Are you feeling alright?"

No, Danny is not bloody feeling alright, but he is also bloody sick of being asked if he's alright. Still, the earnestness of his question, as well as the openly concerned look Rafe has plastered on his face, takes the edge off his words. "I'm fine. The soup's just not very good, is all."

"'Course not. It's soup. I bet the cook pulled a can off the shelf, dumped it straight in the bowl and shook the toaster over it." The description does nothing to alleviate his nauseousness, but he smiles anyway. It is somewhat funny.

"Here." Rafe pushed his plate of finger-thick, greasy fries towards him. "Take some of these. They're good."

Danny nods his gratitude and takes the fries so that Rafe has no reason to think that he is lying.

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He is not stupid to expect a return to 100 percent functionality less than three weeks after the near-fatal injury, but this is annoying. The pain medication makes him sleepy and as nauseous as a pregnant woman, but if he does not take it, the pain is debilitating. To strike a balance between some semblance of normality and pain control, he takes half the dosage; so now he's drowsy, devoid of appetite and remotely achy all day long. If that is not enough to make a person cranky, there is, on top of all that, Rafe to deal with.

Danny knows how traumatised his friend must have been by the events of that night, and the ensuing return to the battleship, which he was blessedly out for the count for. He knows that this overprotective hovering is Rafe's way of dealing with what he sees as a failure on his part to look out for Danny. Nevertheless, it does not make it any less suffocating, especially in his already-irritated state. Rafe dogs his every step, watches what he eats, keeps his from doing anything more physical than walk from one room to the other and constantly scrutinises him for signs of weakness.

This has made it all the more difficult for him to let his guard down and just admit to feeling below par every now and again; he's not allowing himself the cathartic and healing experience of just acknowledging and dealing with the pain. There is this constant pressure to pretend that he is fine, even though he's so tired that all he wants is to curl into a ball and give in to the desire to be miserable for a while.

It is when Evelyn comes home that evening and Rafe is nearly beside himself with excitement at the prospect of dinner that Danny comes to the end of his rope. He's not up to dinner right now, certainly not after those horrible fries that he can taste at the back of his throat and still threaten to make a reappearance. He doesn't want to eat, but he also doesn't want to explain himself to either of them; he's not a child to have to ask for permission to skip dinner.

Still, Danny surprises even himself when he walks up to the two of them and says "Why don't you go out? I mean, it's a Friday night, nobody has anything to do tomorrow…"

"That's a great idea." Ev sounds genuinely enthusiastic; she enjoys outings just as much as he does. "Where you do want to go?"

"I'm not coming."

The mood visibly changes and he can see the cogs turning in Rafe's head. Before either of them can question him and infuriate him into saying something he will regret, he lies. "I had a sandwich earlier. Lunch wasn't very filling."

"We could always go later, when you're hungry." Rafe does not add 'and because I don't for a moment believe that your lack of enthusiasm for dinner is caused by a sandwich', but the accusation hangs in the air between them.

"And what are you going to do until then? Starve? And make Ev starve with you?"

That earns him a kiss on the cheek from her, and she says with a finality that kills all opposition from Rafe "We'll bring something back for you."

He stands on the porch and waves them off, but within minutes of their backs being turned, curls on the bed in a near-foetal position. The ache in his chest is dull but persistent, and he feels lousy regardless and so exhausted by the effort of keeping up pretences that it feels good to just give in to the need to rest like his body craves.

When Danny wakes up, the sky outside is completely dark and the air cold. He checks his watch and is surprised to find that barely two hours have passed since he feels as refreshed as if he has had a good night's sleep. His stomach growls a little. Ev promised to bring him something and right now, he thinks he might actually be able to eat whatever it is she gets. Two hours falls on the lengthy side for a simple dinner, but it is a Friday night and he did tell them to have fun. If they are out there doing just that, he has no one to blame but himself. Still, Danny finds it funny how he is not threatened by the idea of Rafe and Evelyn having a good time out; maybe it's the fact that his friend has finally accepted their relationship. Maybe it's the fact that Evelyn does not look at Rafe with that 'star-crossed lovers' longing in her eyes anymore. Whatever its cause, the growing stability of their relationship is a welcome development.

He's about to resign himself to the boring pastime of waiting for them to return when it dawns upon him that there is nothing confining him to the house. The cat is away, and it is time for the proverbial mice to come out and play.

XXXXX

Danny finds himself drawn to the narrow strip of beach, trapped between massive rocky walls and pounding surf, that no one else seems to have discovered. The scent of the salty sea air awakens him even more, almost lifting the drug-induced blanket off his mind and limbs. The dull roar of the waves is both soothing and elating, and he can swear that the stars are dancing in the clear sky above. The world may associate Pearl Harbor with that awful day, but to him, it is a place he will forever hold dear. Ironic how this little island in the middle of nowhere is the closest he's ever got to home on his own.

For the first time in many days, he is in a place, both physically and mentally, to clearly think about the about-turn his life has taken. Danny never realised the extent of his friend's disillusionment with the force and combat duty before his outburst in front of Doolittle. Should he have seen it coming? There were signs, during the mission, that his view of the world had changed; no longer did Rafe glorify the idea of combat flying, nor did he seem as eager to buck the rules. Danny had put it down to the events of that day and the seriousness of what they were attempting to do, but looking back, he should have realised that something had changed. Disturbing as all this is, he has the more pressing concern in the fact that he has never seen a future for himself beyond the force. On the odd occasion that he thought about his long-term future, Danny always assumed that he would end up in the intelligence or legal department. Now he's facing the prospect of finding a job outside the force when every man old enough to fire a gun is scrambling to join. He knows nothing of the current job market, if one exists at all.

Still, the looming prospect of re-ordering his career seems somewhat abstract and distant compared to the one issue that the voice in his head has been nagging him about since he stepped off that damn plane. Ironically _which is totally in keeping with the theme of the day_ it is the increasing stability of their relationship which led him to question its basis in way that he never would have before this. He loves her, fiercely, he really does. More than anyone else ever before, and probably ever will. Question is, does she love him the same way?

Rafe was right when he said that her continuing relationship with him is proof of her love. He wishes he can take his friend's judgment at face value, but he cannot shake the idea that she loves him enough to stay with him despite loving Rafe more than she will ever love him. Don't people always say that if you love something, you should let it go? A more selfish part of him balks at having to give her up. Why is it always him who has to lose the people he loves? Why does he always have to fight to get what he wants? If he gives her a choice and she doesn't choose him, well, she was never his in the first place. The only question here was whether he loved her enough to give her that choice.

So absorbed is he in soul-searching that he does not hear the crunch of shoes on sand until it is right behind him. Danny whirls around to see none other than the two of them standing there, outlined against the dark sky. Apparently he has been gone long enough for them to return, get worried and come around looking for him. Evelyn looks neither worried nor angry; if anything, she seems slightly smug, but Rafe looks exasperated.

"How'd you find me?"

He was right; she is smug, and the smugness quotient increases as he speaks. "I knew you'd be here."

He hasn't made any move to leave, and she sits down on the rock next to him, smoothing out her skirt as she does so. Their shoulders brush together and he finds himself grateful for the contact. They were once affectionate to a fault, but since the beginning of their tripartite strange living arrangement, they've been tiptoeing around each other so as not to disrupt the fragile atmosphere of companionship.

"I thought you were gonna bring something back for me?"

"Rafe thought you'd want chocolate cake, but I thought the bread pudding looked irresistible. So we got you both."

Rafe has not said a word so far.

"Took you long enough. I got so hungry waiting for the two of you that I decided to go out and get something for myself." He says this to Evelyn, but the unspoken message of 'I didn't lie to you to run off here' is directed at his friend.

"Only you could go out to buy dinner and end up in this forsaken spot." It is a rebuke, but said with affection and bemusement; Rafe's slowly coming to accept the fact that he cannot expect Danny to put up with constant confinement. They seem to have made a lot of progress in these short weeks. It's a pity that he is going to have to throw it out of whack all over again. And that is when he realises this is it; if he doesn't ask her now, he never will.

"Hey, Ev, there's something I need to ask you."

The convivial atmosphere fizzles out almost instantly, like a lightbulb shorting.

"Danny." Rafe's tone carries a warning, and he apologises mentally to his friend.

"There was a time we fought over you, and then avoided the issue and now we're okay. But through everything, we never asked you what you want." He falters a little and finds no empathy in her cold, unreadable expression. The veneer of hope which he has wound around his heart cracks. "So before this gets too far for us to get back from, I've gotta know. We're both here. Who do you want?"

He stops there, amazed that his voice did not break at some point. Rafe looks pissed and scared, but he recognises the glimmer of hope in his eyes. It is this that drives home the consequences of what he's done; were it not for Rafe's 'death', nothing would have brought him and Evelyn together. He's second best and he knows it, but there's this part of him that desperately hopes that there is more to them than that. A part of him that wants her _someone_ to pick him for once.

"You done?" Her voice is iron. His heart shatters.

"You want to know what I want? You want to know what this shameless hussy who's servicing two men at the same time wants?"

Danny is shocked. Her language is a first, and more importantly, he's never thought of her like that. Rafe looks similarly aghast. Never. "Ev-"

"I'm talking. No, you never said that. That's what I hear every day. At the hospital, at the diner, all these people whispering things about me. But I don't care because at the end of the day I can come back to the two of you. For once, I get what I want without having to give up something else. Life never asked me what I wanted, and for the first time, it's given me something I'm happy with." Her eyes are watering but she remains steely. "And now you want me to choose."

It is a revelation, to say the least. He never thought that he would be doing her injustice by asking her to pick one of them _that's the problem Walker, you never think_, and now he regrets putting her in this position so heartlessly.

"Look, Evelyn, I'm sure he doesn't mean pick right now," Rafe says cajolingly.

She snorts. "You're leaving. I am going to have to choose anyway, but I thought that maybe I could enjoy the last few days we all had together. I guess I was just being stupid."

Danny doesn't know what to think or say at this point. His heartbeat ratchets a notch when she catches his eye. This is it.

"I'm not."

It takes a few heart-stopping seconds for him to realise that what she said makes no sense. She's not what? Not choosing him? What a way to phrase it.

"Oh-"he starts, but she cuts him off.

"I refuse to pick. Not now. If you two love me as much as you're always saying, you can wait a little while more."

She turns to Rafe as he processes this; she hasn't rejected him, which is good, but she's also finally acknowledged that there are unresolved feelings between her and his best friend. And somehow, it's something he's willing to live with for now.

"I'm not telling you not to go home. Please go. Just…just don't write off what we…we…" her voice falters with emotion. Rafe shakes his head slowly, just as emotional as her.

"I could never."

He tries not to feel jealous as the two former lovers stood at arm's length, trying so very hard not to give in to the need to hold each other. They are a good match, that much is clear. He clears his throat and they look up almost guiltily. She half-laughs nervously and wipes at her eyes. "Oh God, the things you two put me through."

They walk back to the house together, comfortable with the temporary resolution that the night brought. As they approach, one of the nurses from the house opposite stands on her porch and whispers something in her sailor boyfriend's ear. He looks at them contemptuously and says something back just loud enough for Danny to make out the word 'whore'.

Rafe apparently heard it as well, because he turns around, eyes narrowed in rage and asks "What the hell?"

"I think he just said 'come kick my ass'" Danny says as he contemplates the merits of strangling the man with his pansy sailor-boy ribboned hat.

The beautiful sound of Evelyn laughing at his snarky comment drives all thought of revenge from their minds.

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_I'm sure I've said before how difficult it is to write for Danny. Do leave me a **review** to let me know if he's in character. _


	8. Evelyn III

_Hey y'all! I know this took a while, but here's hoping it's worth the wait _:)

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She finds Sandra in the ladies' during their break, scrubbing at her face futilely in between sobs. So this is where she has been for the past half hour. Evelyn cannot help but think that the events of that day have affected her worse than the rest of them. Sure, Barbara lost Joey and Red lost Betty, but no one has had the very foundations of their beliefs shattered the way Sandra did hers; her practicality and faith in following the rules were rendered completely useless by the chaos and destruction. She has not been the same since. She carried on with her duties like the rest of them, shouldering extra shifts without a complaint, but the once self-assured young woman is now a directionless shell of her former self. Guilt trickles in when Evelyn realises that she has barely said more than 'hi' to the poor girl since Rafe and Danny came back.

"What's wrong?"

Sandra shakes her head and tries harder to get her sobbing under control. Then Evelyn notices an envelope clutched along with the tissues in her trembling hand, and gently eases it from her grip. In it is a picture of her and Anthony, and even she feels a stab of longing for the smart-aleck New Yorker smiling back at her.

"I…I never told him I loved him." Sandra's voice is shaky and filled with such obvious regret that tears start welling in her own eyes. "We never…never…"

Sandra does not finish her sentence, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what they never did. Without pausing to think, Evelyn takes the smaller girl into her arms and hugs her until the sobs subside, all the while thanking whoever is responsible (God? Providence? The Devil?) that both of her loves made it back home. Finally, Sandra disentangles herself from the embrace and reaches into her handbag and hands her a similar white envelope. "Here, yours came too. I don't know why it's taken so damn long for them to deliver it."

Evelyn smiles and takes it from her, trying and failing not to remember the old Sandra's aversion to swearing. She picks at the flap and more memories come rushing back.

XXXXX

_At first, when everything had calmed down and all the dead had been accounted for, there was talk of disciplining the two of them for a number of violations; flying in hula shirts and drunken brawling were just some of them. Word quickly got around the island, though, about what they had done and within a couple of hours they had gone from rule-breakers to certified heroes. Not just the two of them, of course, but the entire crew that braved the hail of gunfire to get them into the P-40s. Press, both local and national, wanted interviews, stories, pictures… _

_It all started when Judy insisted on getting into a picture with Gooz, and soon all of the girls wanted one with their men as well. It went beyond vanity or a desire for fame; this was a golden chance to immortalise to some extent love which could be snuffed out at any time and they were going to make full use of it. The photographer obliged quite happily, seeing how the girls made some of the more camera-shy men more outgoing; more presentable. _

_Quite how Evelyn found herself in a picture with Rafe she did not know, but to make matters worse, Danny just happened to walk by as he got ready to take the shot. She quite literally shied away from Rafe, something which did not go unnoticed by the four of them, and things became very awkward for a moment. Rafe, ever the hero, insisted that Danny should join them for the photo despite the latter's protests that he was not even in uniform. Of course, once the photographer realised just who they were, he too cajoled the reluctant pilot until he gave in. _

_Rafe draped his arm over her shoulder, casual. When Danny's arm curved around her waist, she leant into his side, letting him know wordlessly that things were not what they looked like and that she was still his. She hoped he believed her, because not for a moment did she believe herself. _

XXXXX

Yes, as she holds the photograph and sees the three of them captured in black-and-white, her first reaction is to think of the turmoil of just taking it. Her second reaction is one of absolute horror. Does she really look that old? Her unhappiness only grows upon further scrutiny of the photograph. Rafe's got his eyebrows raised in some goofy expression of half-surprise or what the hell she doesn't know, but it has the effect of hiding the wrinkles around his forehead and eyes. And Danny. Nevermind that he _never_ looks his actual age, here he looks criminally young. He looks like he's swimming in his overalls, and it has the effect of making him look like a teenager. In fact, looking at them side by side, she realises with even more horror that he can pass off as her son. No wonder everyone looks at her funny; not only is she juggling two lovers, one of them is, for all intents and purposes, underage. She is definitely going to Hell for this.

"Evelyn." Sandra's voice is tentative, like it always is when she is about to bring up a sensitive topic.

"What's wrong?"

"People have been…saying things." She pauses, and when Evelyn does not respond, says "About you and Rafe and Danny."

"Oh."

"They say that you're…_seeing_ the both of them at the same time."

One part of Evelyn is angered by the disapproving tone; surely she is not the only two-timing woman in history, let alone on this island. Why is she the only one whose private life seems to be fair game? The other part of her is the one that speaks. "Of course not. It's just that Danny's not in very good shape right now and I think it's better for him to stay with me than in the barracks where, knowing him, he won't sit still for a moment. And you know as well as I do that there's no point trying to keep Rafe and Danny apart."

"That's what I keep telling them!" Sandra exclaims loudly. "I know you're not like that, but nobody listens. They've got you marked as a hussy or something."

She shrugs, glad that Sandra is on her side. "They'll get bored eventually."

"I hope you're right."

XXXXX

She can hear raised voices from the doorstep and thinks 'not again!' Rafe and Danny are obviously attached to each other, but they bicker worse than a dorm of girls sometimes. It takes very little to set them off; sometimes it is about who does the dishes, more often than not it is about Danny not taking his health seriously but she once listened to an hour long bitch-fest about the proper colour of shoe polish. Goodness only knows what set them off this time.

"Stop squirming, damnit." That is Danny and his voice seems to be coming from the bathroom. She walks closer to the closed door and listens in.

"Stop being such a butcher, then." Rafe's voice is pitched somewhat higher than normal; he's close to whining.

"You're such a pussy. And if you can't deal with the pain, don't go lookin' for it."

"Oh, don't start. You wouldn't have done the same thing?"

"Hell no. The guy's a mechanic for fuck's sake. They crap rivets. It's like running into a brick wall." It still amazes her how colourful their language can be when they think she's not around.

"If you thought it was such a bad idea, why didn't ya say something?"

They're different together, she's come to see over the past couple of weeks. Rafe is less smart-alecky and more introspective whereas Danny loses some of his reservation and sounds more confident. It is almost like they start taking on aspects of each other's personalities. That they do is funny for the most part, but it scares her sometimes; they have got so much history together that anything she shares with either of them pales in comparison. Now that their relationship can officially be called a love triangle, she feels like the hypotenuse; the third wheel.

"Oowwhhh!" The yowl from the bathroom jolts her from her thoughts. "You're fucking doing this on purpose!"

"You think it's fun sitting here listening to your whining? Iodine stings. It's a fact of life. Now shut the fuck up and let me finish this."

Iodine? It sounds like Rafe got hurt. In a fight with a mechanic who apparently craps rivets. Evelyn opens the door and finds the two of them in the middle of a mess of gauze, iodine and tissue paper. Rafe is sitting on the toilet lid, puffy-lipped and black-eyed. Danny has his hand and is painting his bloody knuckles with iodine. They quieten when they see her and the house becomes blissfully swear-free.

"Hey," Danny spares her a greeting before returning to the task of cleaning the wound. For all of Rafe's complaining, it is plain that he is far gentler with the wounded hand than any doctor or nurse would be. Speaking of Rafe, he's stopped complaining and now only winces in the manliest way possible. Still, it has been pretty obvious from their first meeting that he has a low threshold of pain.

"So what happened?"

They exchange looks, as though trying to scrape together a plausible excuse via telepathy.

"Did you get into a fight?"

"Yeaahhh," Rafe drawls, as if lengthening the word will reduce its effect. "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" It is the way he brushed it off that irks her; he is not a common thug to go around picking fights and she expects better of him. "Going around beating people up is nothing? What on earth would possess you to-"

Oh. The answer to her question, and the reason for their reluctance to tell her what happened, is obvious. At once, she feels both touched and exasperated; it is chivalrous of him to defend her honour, but there really was no need for it. She is not so fragile that a couple of whispered insults can hurt her, not when she has such love to come home to.

"He won't disturb you again."

"Oh, Rafe," she says, feeling her heart swell with affection for him. Taking a wad of cotton from the roll Danny has placed on the sink, she starts dabbing at the scabbing cut above his eyebrow.

XXXXX

The topic comes up again after dinner, as they sit around in a blissful food coma. She wonders just how far the allegations have travelled and why on earth people would be interested in such a petty story in these times. If Rafe and Danny were less famous, or did not know each other, would those people still be as interested?

"Rafe, what happened today?"

"Aw, Evelyn, you don't wanna know."

"Yes, I do."

He sighs and shoots her a hopeful, puppy-dog look. After being on the receiving end of Danny's potent kicked-puppy look, it has no effect on her. Rafe realises this in a moment and gives in.

"I went to the drugstore to pick up some Tang and the guy from your neighbour's house showed outta nowhere and says 'you flyboys all this queer?' or something to that effect. I ignored him, because if there's one joke that long overdue retirement, it's that pilots are all…all…"

When Rafe flounders for a word to describe it, Danny says "Effeminate."

"Yeah, that's it. They're just jealous."

She's heard these jokes being banded around the hospital by the patients, but it has always come across as nothing more than good-natured ribbing. Apparently, it is not. "Of what?"

"That we're the smartest of the lot."

"Also, we don't live like animals, bathing only once a week, or month, or however long you have to go without to get lice." Danny has a sharp tongue on him, even though he doesn't often show it. "And we aren't crammed twelve deep in the belly of a ship or sleep in trenches and stuff."

"Basically, you're the most pampered of the lot."

"Aw, Ev, you sound like them," Danny says with mock hurt. "And we get paid the most too. It's a little funny when you think about it."

"Anyway," Rafe starts, guiding their attention back to his story, "I just ignore him. If he wants trouble, he's gonna have to work a lot harder than that. Then he says 'so, how much does she charge?', at which point I'm this close to losing my temper. But still. He follows me around the shelf and when I still don't say nothing, he says 'maybe I should ask her.' That's when I chucked a can of Spam in his face."

"Oh my God, what happened then?"

"It bounced off."

Danny laughs at that and Rafe grins wryly. "Guess I should have bolted at that point. But I didn't."

He gets up, so engrossed in telling the story that he's now re-enacting blow-by-blow what happened earlier in the morning. One part of her finds this almost adolescent display funny coming from him. Another part of her is engrossed as well, since he is a good story-teller and she's particularly susceptible to his charms; has been and will always be. As he describes just how he managed to escape, she glances over at Danny, who has been quiet all this while. He's also watching Rafe; looking up at him with such undisguised adoration and admiration that it jars her. From that time when he came to tell her about Rafe's supposed death, she could tell that he deeply cared for the older man. When they grew closer, he would tell her stories from their childhood together and while she picked up on the fact that they were unusually close, she never actually realised just how much Danny looked up to Rafe. She remembers now how upset he was at the revelation that Rafe lied about volunteering for the Eagle Squadron; not so much because of the lie as the missed opportunity to go fight a war he didn't believe in simply to be by Rafe's side. She always assumed that Rafe would pack up and head off to Tennessee in a few days, leaving Danny and her behind, but now she realises just how careless an assumption that has been on her part. Because while Danny loves her enough to fight Rafe tooth and nail for her, Rafe is the centre of his universe; when push shoves, they look out for each other to the exclusion of everyone else. And that is who she is.

XXXXX

Rafe's incurable snoring does little to help Evelyn's troubled mind relax. Danny's quiet breathing punctuates the snoring; she's grown used to sleeping in this symphony of night-time sounds, annoying as they are. Silence is not something she has the strength to deal with again.

A sigh escapes her lips for the hundredth time that night, but it does not disturb Rafe's deep or Danny's drug-induced slumber. Without thinking, she finds herself shucking off her sheets and walking over to the latter's bed. Danny is sleeping on his stomach, and his arm hangs off the side of the bed. Slowly, she peels away his blanket and slips under his arm; this wakes him up.

"Ev?" his voice is sleep-heavy.

"Shhhh…" She presses her back against his side, almost as if she were trying to disappear into him. He remains alert for a while, but when she refuses to react further, wraps his arms around her and nuzzles her shoulder. It takes only a few moments before his breathing evens out and he's sleeping peacefully again.

If only it were so easy for her. She loves, always has, the sensation of Danny breathing against her. He breathes deep and slow, and when their breathing finally synchronises like they always do, she finds herself drifting in that twilight area between sleep and wakefulness. It's almost like being high. But not tonight. Tonight, the warmth of his body and the exhale of air tickling the back of her neck do nothing to comfort her. All Evelyn can think of as she lies there is that she's come to depend so desperately on something that will not always be there. She hates the fact that she needs Danny more than he needs her.

And just like that, the comfort she sought when she crawled into his bed becomes oppressive; his arm traps her in a physical manifestation of the trap of her dependency on him. In his corner, Rafe snores, a reminder of the fact that the clock is ticking and she will soon have to choose. Unable to tolerate it any longer, she shrugs his arm off and leaves the stifling room.

The air in the living room is colder and she breathes it deeply, enjoying the chills that run along her skin. It is as dark as it ever gets here in Hawaii; the sky outside dark blue and full of stars that she can see well enough to function without needing to turn the lights on. Her eyes barely have time to adjust to the dim light when she hears footsteps behind her.

"Ev?"

She sighs. He's followed her out; did she really expect anything else?

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she answers, but Danny is standing right in front of her now and, with a gentle hand, tips her head up to look at him. It is difficult to pretend to be fine when it feels like those brown eyes can see into darkest recesses of her soul.

"It'll be alright," he continues, clearly mistaking the cause of her unhappiness. "People will find something new to go on about after a while."

"Don't leave me."

He looks as surprised as she feels. She hasn't been entirely in control of herself tonight, but the sudden exclamation is unexpected.

"Hey," he cups her face with both hands, thumbs resting on her cheekbones. "I'd never leave you."

"So you're not going back to the Corps? Or Tennessee?"

There is a moment of silence so still which follows her question that is a confirmation of Evelyn's fears. She's pushed him to choose and he cannot give her the answer she wants.

"Not without you."

She looks up at him and finds nothing apart from earnestness. He's committed himself to her in a way she cannot to him, and there is not one bit of cynicism or anger in him at that. She wonders where he finds the strength to do that and in that moment feels selfish. She's gotten what she wants and once again, it's at the expense of their friendship.

Before she can berate herself further, he leans in and kisses her, as if sealing the promise. She gives in to the kiss, presses her lips against his with a desperation she did not know she felt. She wants to reassure herself that she is right for making him promise, that she can love him as much as he loves her. When his tongue flicks at her lips, she parts them willingly, yearning to taste him after their long separation. They're both close to being out of breath when he breaks the kiss; she gives him one short moment to catch his breath before kissing him again, this time pressing her body against his in a way that made clear that this was not a chaste, thank-you-for-loving-me kiss. They've spent weeks dancing around one another so as not to upset the fragile three-way balance; it's like having ice-cream on your nose that you cannot lick. She wants more.

When he slides the straps of her negligee off her shoulders, she moans into his kiss; she has been so starved of touch that the light trailing of his fingertips along her shoulder blades is electric. Stumbling backwards, she comes to rest against the kitchen counter. Danny breaks their kiss to run his lips along the curve of her collarbone and her back arches involuntarily. Something falls off the counter and clatters on the floor when she thrusts her arms out against it for support. They pause for a moment, alert, waiting for a sign that someone heard the noise. When a long moment passes and there is no other sign of life in the house, she pulls him in for another kiss.

XXXXX

A minute, an hour; she has no idea how much time has flown by. She cannot think straight, does not care. She hears someone calling his name in the distance and vaguely realises that it's her; his lips silence her as her hips buck against his. Time does not matter here.

XXXXX

It's only much later, when they're hastily clearing up the living room of any signs of disturbance, that Evelyn realises what it is she knocked over. Her handbag. Its contents are spilled all over the floor under the counter; lipstick, pens and the picture that Sandra gave her earlier that day. She slides it out of the envelope, once again confronted by the fact that, despite what just happened between Danny and her, there will always be three people in this relationship. She traces her finger over Danny's smile, wishing she were half as photogenic.

And then she gets an idea.

XXXXX

_Well, whaddya think? Review folks, come on now. Gimme a reason to smile, eh? _


	9. Rafe III

_hey y'all. here's the latest chapter. _

XXXXX

His first indication that things were going to go off the rails today is the empty room he wakes up to. Being an early riser, he's normally up before the both of them. He thinks nothing of it; merely notes that it is unusual the way that someone would notice an odd formation of clouds. When he leaves the room in search of coffee, he finds Evelyn at the table reading the morning paper.

"Morning."

"Morning, soldier." She smiles kindly and pours him a mug of steaming hot coffee, without him saying a single word. Moments like these remind him why he fell hard and fast for the amazing woman sitting before him. He loves her so much, and now he can admit it to himself.

"Where's Danny?"

She shrugs. "Don't know. He wasn't here when I woke up."

The mug of coffee pauses in its journey to his lips. He's barely begun to develop a reaction to the information when she gives him a look; one that clearly says that any reaction at all apart from total indifference would be an overreaction in her books. Faced with her bulldog-like temperament before he has even had coffee, Rafe backs down. He just compared her to a bulldog. Goodness.

"Anything interesting?"

"We surrendered the Philippines. Vera Lynn is performing for the American troops in Dover." She shows him the paper. "They printed both of that on the same page."

Rafe lifts his shoulders in a what-can-you-do gesture. News like this almost makes him want to rejoin; to fly in, guns ablaze, and rescue the American troops in the Philippines or wherever else they are being defeated. Almost. He knows now that no such rescue mission could reasonably take place; the logistics of transporting enough troops to far-out places to make an effect, and the politics that goes on between the upper echelons of the forces, dictates that the most he would be able to do, just like the last time, would be to fly in raids against Germany. Tiresome, neverending raids which did nothing to suppress the fighting spirit of the Luftwaffe or the merciless onslaught of the Axis.

"Hey, d'you know that the Andrew sisters played for us when I was in England?"

"Really? Are they any good?"

He shrugs. "They're all right. I just kept thinking that Danny wouldn't approve, ya know?"

She rolls her eyes. "I know. He's such a…a…"

"Jazz snob. He ever use that line on you?"

"What line?"

"It's about making the guitar talk."

"Oh God, yes. I told him once that if guitars could speak, something was really wrong with the picture."

Huh. She is feisty. "Then what?"

She shakes her head fondly. "That just got him going about Robert Johnson."

XXXXX

They have strayed from casual conversation into light, somewhat flirtatious banter when the front door swings open and Danny walks in, looking more chipper than he has been in a long time. Enough to make Rafe contemplate the wisdom of making sure he didn't overexert himself; maybe what the kid needs is some sunshine.

"Ev?" he says, sounding surprised. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

He's right. It's almost 9.00, and her shift started close to an hour ago. While a more practical part of him thinks that she better hurry, his inner child cheers at the fact that his company made her forget the passing of time. He's still got it.

"Sit down. I need to talk to the both of you."

And there went the fantasy of having it. The fact that she is late for work so that she can talk to them is disconcerting, since nothing good, in his experience, has come out of such talks. Danny looks just as wary as him, but joins them at the table. She eyes the two of them and breathes deeply. Oh God. This is it. She's made her choice. He glances at Danny the same time his friend does at him; they exchange a mutual look of alarm.

"We're in an unusual situation. I mean, with most…" she pauses in search of a word "triangles, the girl could just, if she were unable to choose, leave it to them to fight it out and walk away with the victor. That's not going to work here. And to be honest, I'm not going to rush into a decision just because one needs to be made."

"No one's forcing you to," Danny says. Maybe he feels guilty for being the one to bring up the choice issue in the first place.

"Not you. You're both so…so wonderful about this, you really are." She's looking at him now. What did she expect them to do anyway? She's brought the both of them back from the jaws of death, literally. A girl like that deserves to get anything she wants.

"So I've got an idea, but you two need to hear me out. No interruptions, no matter how crazy it sounds."

The fact that she has to warn them to hold their tongues adds to the foreboding feeling he already has. Whatever it is she's going to say, he has a feeling he won't like it. Danny looks similarly grim, but he nods his assent.

She smiles at that, and some of the tension seeps out of her posture. "Here, have a look at this," she says, sliding a photograph down the table. It is one of the three of them, taken during the aftermath of the attack. How it relates to whatever the hell is going on with them is unclear. Women.

"Oh God, I look stupid." He does. Eyebrows raised, eyes unfocused, he looks like a typical moonshine-sodden hillbilly.

"Yeah, well, at least you don't look like a mechanic who happened to just wander into the picture. Or like you're being eaten by your suit." Rafe doesn't know what Danny is complaining about; the photograph makes it very clear that he's taller, leaner and younger, and a much better match for the gorgeous lady trapped between them.

The sound of Evelyn clearing her throat draws their attention back to her. She's looking at him now. "You're leaving." She turns to Danny. "And you'd probably have gone too."

Danny looks like he's going to say something, but she beats him to it. "I'm not blaming you. Either of you. I'm thinking that maybe we should all go. Get a fresh start somewhere that doesn't think of us as sex fiends."

This will never work. It can't. There are a million reasons why this cannot be a good idea. But when he opens his mouth to tell her just that, he can't come up with anything good. It's not like any of them have got anything tying them to this place, or any other place. People would definitely talk once they left, but he couldn't care less and he has a feeling she doesn't either.

"And where exactly would we go?"

She shrugs. "Rafe said he wanted to go home, so I guess wherever that is."

Danny looks sceptical. "You want to go to Tenny to escape the moral fundamentalists in Hawaii?"

He has a point. Short of New York, Pearl Harbor is about as accepting of immorality as they get.

"Ev, I'm not trying to undo your plan or anything. It's just that the reaction we're getting here is pretty mild compared to what would happen if you tried this back where we came from. I mean, we could always go somewhere else, but I doubt Rafe wants to go to New York or somewhere metropolitan enough not to care about these kinds of things." Danny says all this in a conciliatory tone, with an odd, almost nervous, expression. Knowing him, he still feels bad about triggering her 'hussy' outburst.

"I know, and I agree." She gestures at the photograph again. "And the solution is right there."

Rafe looks at it at the same time Danny does, and catches the complete and utter confusion on his face. It mirrors his own thoughts at the moment.

"You look a good ten years older than Danny."

Ouch. "Gee, thanks Evelyn. And what does this-"

She cuts him off. "And so do I. Imagine this. Three new people come to town. A young-ish couple, and his younger brother. Their parents died when they were very young, so he married his high school sweetheart and together they raised his kid brother, who has now grown up."

Holy fuck. That came out of the left field; never in his wildest imagination would he have come up with something like that. It's preposterous, but hell, it might just work. Her 'story' is believable enough, and tinged with enough truth to make it work. One look at Danny makes it clear that his confidence isn't shared; his friend looks thunderous.

"So, technically, he's your husband and I'm your _son_?" Danny's voice is soft, but he doesn't have to raise it to make his displeasure clear. Of course, he's got a good reason to be unhappy.

"Only to a bunch of strangers. We know how things really are."

"Yeah? You know what adopting that story is going to mean? That I can never hold your hand, or kiss you, in public. We can never go out on a date. But of course, you'd have to be affectionate with him," he gestures at Rafe "or people will get suspicious."

"Then we'll go somewhere where there aren't that many people around. Danny, it's not perfect, but it's the best I can come up with." She's almost pleading, and Danny's countenance softens. "Look, I'm not asking you guys to decide right now. Just think it over and let me know if we can make it work."

She leaves for work and they sit in the silent but busy vacuum left by her revelation. The plan is workable, of course, but whether it should at all is the question here. It reminds him of the time he complained to his Pa about the whole class being punished because a few of them forgot to hand in their homework; his old man leant down and said "Well son, that's the way the wheel turns." He remembers thinking that if that was how the wheel was going to work, maybe there shouldn't be a wheel at all. The feeling has returned.

He's in the middle of that thought when his stomach rumbles. Loudly. He hasn't even had breakfast yet, but it already feels like it's been a long day.

"You haven't eaten?" Danny asks. "Me neither. C'mon."

He's barely finished speaking before he leaves the table and speeds towards the door, snagging his jacket on the way. It's the same damn jacket that he wore on the raid. Rafe can still see, clearly, the blood on that jacket even though he washed it with his own hands on the carrier. They'd almost thrown it away, but he knew just how much Danny loves that stupid thing and saving it from destruction gave him something to do whilst its owner teetered in the brink of death.

Goddamnit, Rafe, snap out of it, he tells himself. That part of their lives is over and done with. Nobody's dying anytime soon.

"Hey, where are we going?"

"To get breakfast."

Oh, real helpful. He's about to huffily ask where when he realises that Danny is being purposely evasive. Fine. It's not like he has anything better to do anyway.

They walk deep into a residential neighbourhood, with identical terraced houses and neat little gardens. It would be nice to live in one of these happy places, where his greatest worry would be having to mow the lawn or fix the leaky roof; but he's not that person. Then again, many of these houses have flags hanging out of a window or from the roof, indicating that life on the other side of the white picket fence isn't as idyllic as it seems. He glances at Danny's face, wondering what he's thinking, but his friend's thoughts, as always, are a mystery to him. Danny's not happy about Evelyn's plan, that much he knows, but that doesn't seem to be on his mind right now.

This walk is taking forever. Just where on earth Danny's leading him is a mystery, and the slight tummy rumble he had earlier has developed onto full-blown hunger pangs. And now Danny is leading him up a hill; yes, he needs exercise, but this is going a bit too far.

"Hey, Danny, if we don't get to food in five minutes, I'm gonna eat you, I swear."

Danny smiles. "That sounds vaguely suggestive."

"Get your mind outta the gutter. And the threat still stands, by the way."

"Relax, we're here."

Rafe looks around. They are at the end of the street, which is on top of the hill. Up here, he has a good view of the street behind them, as well as the harbour in front of them, but there is no sign of breakfast anywhere. Danny nudges his shoulder and leads them to house of the corner; he can hear many voices faintly streaming out, and the garden is full of flourishing vegetables. He was here for a whole year, after all. He would have made friends.

When they walk in, Rafe is pleasantly surprised. What looks like a house on the outside is in fact a very homely little café. The living room has been converted into a dining space, with 4 little tables covered in checked tablecloth. All the tables are full. A counter sits between the hall and the kitchen, and a youngish Italian woman stands there, wrapping up a sandwich for a man. The smell hits him hard. It's a heady, delicious blend of bacon, burnt sugar and coffee that makes his mouth water in anticipation.

The girl at the counter spots Danny when he walks in and exclaims "Danny! Mavala!"

Rafe turns to his side to see Danny grin widely. "Maria, bongiourno! Come stai?"

"Bene! Bene!" Her wide grin doesn't falter as she yells something in Italian into the kitchen, speaking a mile a minute. There's a clatter from there and more voices join the fray, but Maria runs around the counter and throws her arms around Danny. He blushes, but wraps his arms around her as well, and she kisses his cheeks. Astonishing doesn't cover it. Just who is she? And since when did Danny speak Italian?

He's about to introduce himself when a rather large lady bustles out of the kitchen and launches herself at the once-hugging couple.

"Danny!" she cries out, and the other patrons of the café turn around to see what the commotion is about.

He smiles, about to say something, but she's too fast. Babbling, somewhat incoherently in his opinion, she grabs Danny's wrist in one of her meaty hands and shakes it; it almost sounds like she's scolding him. He answers in Italian again, and Rafe feels like the proverbial fish out of water. That's when Danny catches sight of him and breaks out of her grip to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Maria, Greta, this is my friend Rafe. Rafe, Maria, Greta. They own this place."

"Hello ladies," he says, shaking their hands.

"Good to meet you," Greta says in halting English.

"What'll you have?" Maria asks, whipping a pen and pad from her apron.

Danny is about to answer, but Greta says, somewhat fiercely, "Full breakfast. Five months you no come, and look at you! No meat, all bones! How you fight like this?"

Maria barks something at her mother in Italian, but he catches the word pilota and guesses that she's telling her mother that Danny's a pilot and doesn't fight in the literal sense of the word. Still, the older woman is right about one thing; Danny has lost weight and he needs feeding up.

Rafe likes her. "I'll have the same." She smiles at him and says "Good choice. Value for money."

It doesn't take too long for Danny to pull him out of the house and into the yard, where two tables are set. Both are empty, and he drops into the white deck chair gratefully, feeling a little overwhelmed. Danny settles in beside him wordlessly, choosing instead to admire the view. The south wing of the harbour is laid out before them; the sea and sky are vast blue expanses and the smaller islands around Oahu dot the horizon. It's breathtaking.

"Beautiful, ain't it?"

"Yeah. How'd you find this place?"

Danny shrugs. "I was just walking around."

"That girl sweet on you or something?"

Danny shoots him a look. "They're friendly, that's all. Not a lot of their customers speak Italian, and their English isn't too good, so they get chatty with the ones who do."

"Since when do you speak Italian?"

"I don't. I just know bits and pieces, s'all. Why are you interrogating me?"

Rafe starts to deny the accusation, but quickly realises that it is true. Exactly why Danny's association with this place bothers him he doesn't know; maybe it's the fact that he used to know every little thing his friend got up to, and there is now a giant hole in his understanding. "Sorry."

That's when the food arrives, and Rafe wants to fall to his knees and thank god for the feast in front of him. It is nothing fancy; coffee, a well-cooked strip of bacon, eggs and two crepe rolls that are slathered in jam, but the sight and smell of the platter makes his mouth water. Danny smiles at him. "Worth the hike, isn't it?"

Rafe stabs the scrambled eggs and stuffs a good portion into his mouth. It's just right; almost crispy on the outside, and sweet and buttery on the inside.

"You're awesome," he concedes happily.

XXXXX

"Danny-" Rafe starts, knowing that the issue had to be dealt with sooner or later.

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"Go along with the plan." Danny turns from watching the view to look at him. "I don't like it, but Ev's right about not having much of an alternative."

And then he gets it. Danny's insecure. He thinks that going along with the plan, playing the roles Evelyn has mapped out for them, will result in her choosing him. His heart leaps with joy at the idea, but Rafe stills it. He made a promise, twice, and he's going to keep it.

"Danny, look, I'm not fighting you for her. I told you that day and I'm telling you again now, as far as I'm concerned, she's your girl."

Danny smiles sadly at him. "She's not a puppy, Rafe. And I know you mean what you said. Thing is, it's not up to us anymore now, is it? It's her choice. Don't worry about it. We'll figure something out."

It's amazing how Danny can catch him completely by surprise sometimes. Here he is rightly worried about the effect of pretending to be his girlfriend's kid brother in law, but reassuring Rafe that things will be alright. It has the opposite effect though; he hopes that they'll all come out of this with their hearts intact, but he can't see a way for that to happen.

XXXXX

Evelyn reacts to the news in her usual calm, collected manner; no tears, no whoops of joy, just a sigh of relief.

"Where do we even start planning this?"

Danny shrugs. "Maybe we should decide where we want to go first."

"That'll depend on what we're going to do for a living. I'm sure you two will want something to do with flying. Crop-dusting sounds like the only viable option, so we need to go somewhere that grows crops that need dusting."

"And somewhere not too populated. We don't want to be looking over backs all the time."

"Let's stay somewhere North," Evelyn suddenly says.

"Okay."

"You know my parents are in Minnesota, right? I just want to be somewhere close, that's all."

Rafe suddenly feels sorry for her. Being disowned for daring to follow her ambitions is not fair, and as much as he hates her parents for putting her through that, he can understand her desire to be near them. Danny reaches across the table and puts his hand over hers. She tightens her fingers around his, and something passes between them that both touches Rafe and makes him jealous. This is what they must have been like when he was 'dead'; it's obvious that they are in tune with each other's feelings in a way that he isn't. Nevertheless, there is something odd about sudden increase in proximity between them; they kissed in the doorway when Evelyn came back from work, and it wasn't a platonic peck on the lips either. Something's changed, something's happened, but he cannot put his finger on it yet.

Then he remembers something. "Hey, let's go to Wisconsin!"

"Wisconsin?" Danny sounds quizzical. "What on earth is in Wisconsin?"

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you forgot."

His friend thinks for a moment, but Rafe can tell that he's coming up with nothing.

"Bear drumsticks? That ring a bell?"

"What?" Now Evelyn sounds confused. "Bear drumsticks?"

"Oh my God." Danny shakes his head. "There's this book called Little House on the Prairie, and the main character had a bear drumstick for dinner or something. Our teacher read it for us when we were in first grade, and he wouldn't shut up about it for weeks. You don't really think you're going to get one, right?"

"Why not?" Of course he's not going to eat bear. Ew. "Besides, you got a better idea?"

"No." Evelyn answered for Danny. "No, that's actually a good idea. My family has a summer cabin in Wisconsin, but it hasn't been used in quite a while. We don't even need to look for a house."

"But I thought you hadn't spoken to them since…" Danny asks, probably thinking along the same lines as him. She hasn't spoken to her family in years, but suggests using their house? It seems wrong.

"I don't need to. We could just move in. I mean, this set-up is temporary. We just need a place for a while."

"Ev, you know we can't do that." Danny speaks softly and gently, looking her in the eyes. His friend has a way of breaking bad news and dealing with difficult issues that puts the person he's speaking to at ease. Maybe it's the eyes; it's impossible to get angry while staring into his large, sad eyes. It's gotten him out of trouble more times than Rafe cares to count.

She sighs. "No."

"Maybe you should go see them again."

She looks at him. "Why?"

"We're in the middle of a war. However angry your father was with you, I'm sure he'd want to know that you're fine. I mean, look what happened to Betty. That could have been you. Your parents don't even know if you're alive right now."

"I don't know, Rafe. He told me never to come back." Tears well up in her eyes. "He said 'if you walk out that door, don't ever come back.'"

"Trust me, people say a lot of things they don't mean when they're mad." He knows from experience. The words he'd thrown at Danny _lousy friend _the night before were calculated to cause as much hurt as possible. He knew they weren't true. "And sometimes they don't apologise. But he's your father and he loves you, no matter what he said."

XXXXX

_Some notes:_

_I don't speak fluent Italian. All the phrases used above are common ones. DO point out any mistakes I have made in their usage. _

_Mavala - An expression of pleasant surprise_

_Bongiourno - Good morning_

_Come stai - How are you?_

_Bene - Good_

_Drop me a review and tell me what you think about the 'plan'? Am I taking creative license too far? Is it even plausible?_


	10. Katelyn

_AN: I realise that this chapter bears horrifying similarity to mentos93's latest chapter, but that is purely coincidental. Well, not really. We apparently share the same thought process, and we are after all dealing with relatively similar subject matter. Nevertheless, this is me saying that I have not in any way plagiarised her fic. This one has been months in the planning. _

_Anyways, enjoy :)_

XXXXX

The sun has just crept over the horizon, but she's already had a very long day. A day, she supposed, that began a week ago when an unmarked letter turned up in their letterbox.

XXXXX

_She was in the hall tuning the piano after a lesson, and Mother sat in the mauve upholstered settee opposite her going through the day's post. There was an invitation to a garden party from Aunt Josephine, and they spoke about that for a moment, debating the merits of gifting her a cake or a bottle of wine. She paid no attention as her mother moved on to the other letters, focusing instead on the off-tune G sharp when all of a sudden Mother cried out. _

_Katelyn turned in horror, and found Mother as white as a sheet, clutching the letter so hard that her fist almost crushed the fragile paper. _

"_What? What is it?"_

_There were tears in Mother's eyes by now, and her voice shook as she said "It's Evelyn."_

XXXXX

Evelyn's coming home. Today. For how long and for what reason she doesn't know, but it has been six years and the thought of seeing her sister again makes her stomach twist with anticipation and not a little fear. If she really did what she threatened to do and became a Navy Nurse, and Katelyn knows that her little sister doesn't give up without getting what she wants, then she would have seen war in the past half a year. Real, actual war. If six years is not enough to change a person beyond recognition, war certainly is.

Still, it's good that Evelyn's coming back. There has been a shadow hanging over the family ever since the night Father gave her that ultimatum, thinking that that would finally dissuade her from pursuing a fool's errand. Boy, was he wrong. She knows Mother blames him for her leaving, and Katelyn cannot deny that sometimes she resents his stubbornness, his refusal to come off his high horse and just look for her sister. But she also knows that he feels guilty about it; she can see it in the way he refuses to allow the maid to change anything in Evelyn's room and in the way his hands tremble when her favourite songs play on the wireless. She can see it in the haunted look in his eyes when he reads the paper about Allied defeats and wounded soldiers, and knows that he is wondering which corner of Hell she has been deployed to.

He cried the night the letter came. It was the first time she had ever seen that happen, and as much as it shook her to the core, she felt a glimmer of hope at the sight of his tears. Hope that when Evelyn came back, he would accept her and the life she chose for herself. Hope that they could be a family again, whole and happy.

They've been up since 4.00, all of them, one by one coming down to the hall after a night of sleeplessness. How could they? Mother did what she does best; she baked butter cookies, using the precious little amount of butter that they were rationed. They were Evelyn's favourite. Father paced the house, smoking his pipe and setting the picture frames straight. He may not want to admit that he is as nervous about her arrival as they are, but it is obvious. She plays, finding as always calm in music and keys and notes.

The sound of a taxi pulling up startles all of them into action; they all rush to the door and Katelyn in her haste to stand bangs her knee against the piano, but manages to reach first.

She pulls the heavy wooden door open and there she is. Evelyn. For a moment Katelyn loses the ability to think, or even breathe; there is too much to take in right now. Evelyn smiles nervously and Katelyn suddenly finds her feet again.

"Oh my God, Evelyn!" She lets go of the door and throws her arms around her sister, half-laughing and half-sobbing with happiness. Evelyn hugs her back just as hard. Mother is saying something in behind her, but she can't quite make out what she's saying.

"Kate, Kate, can't breathe."

She lets go, laughing. Mother steps forward and cups Evelyn's cheek, and unshed tears glisten in her sister's eyes. "Mother…"

"Oh, baby, I missed you so much."

She watches as they hug; Mother lets go of her fairly quickly, but holds her at arm's length. "Oh darling, let me have a look at you."

And that is when Katelyn gets her first proper look at Evelyn. She's aged, that much is obvious, but is still as beautiful as ever. She's grown out her dark hair and it falls deep between her shoulder blades, curling at the ends. Her dress sense has changed somewhat too; she used to love wearing jodhpurs and jeans despite Father's disapproval, but now she's wearing a lovely black dress trimmed with white lace. But her eyes; that's what has changed the most. There is wisdom and sadness in those eyes that weren't there before, and Katelyn knows that life has not been easy on her sister. Father stands in the hall rather awkwardly, but watches with undisguised affection in his eyes as well. He's never been the hugging type. No, that's not true. He used to be, but then he was discharged from service and things had changed. But today is not the day for such grim thoughts and Katelyn grounds herself firmly in the present as she goes to close the door -

- and finds herself looking up at a man dressed in the unmistakable fawn uniform of the Army Air Corps. He's standing in her doorway, a duffel bag slung effortlessly over one shoulder, as if he's waiting for something. Katelyn is about to tell him that he has the wrong house when it clicks in her mind. Oh.

"Ev," he calls quietly, in a deep voice so tinged with the Southern accent that she can identify it despite the fact that's he's only said one syllable. Her second thought is surprise at his audacity in giving her a nickname; they used to call her Evie when she was very little, but then she grew older and insisted on being referred to by her full name. Her third thought in as many seconds is that he's just a _boy_.

Evelyn walks back to the door. "This is Danny," she says. "Danny, that's my Mother and Father and my sister, Katelyn. Danny's with me."

"Hi," he says, briefly catching her eye before taking in the sight of the house.

Father keeps quiet, but she can see that he is less than happy with this new development. It's not the idea of Evelyn having a lover that bothers him; it's that he's an Army Air Corps pilot. The very organisation that 'betrayed' him all those years ago. Already it seems that this visit will be less than ideal.

"Well, don't just stand in the doorway, come on in!"

Mother breaks the silence, catching Evelyn's hand and pulling her into the house. Danny follows her in, looking somewhat lost. She figures that the least she can do is to ease the tension slightly.

"Hi. Um, do you want a hand with the bag?" As soon as the words leave her mouth, she kicks herself mentally. What a stupid question.

He looks at her now, and Katelyn loses her breath again. Holy Mother of God. He's stunningly good-looking. And what eyes. She might have mistakenly thought of him as a boy, but in those eyes she can see the weight of the world.

"It's alright," he says kindly. "I've got it. Maybe you could show me where to put it."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Evelyn suddenly chimes in. "It's been a long journey. We'd probably want to get changed first." She sniffs her sleeve. "I smell like the train. I definitely want to change first."

"Of course. We made your room up just yesterday. And there's towels in the bathroom and your old clothes in the closet…you know, in case you want to wear them…but I'm sure you brought your own…" Mother rambles on as she walks up the stairs. They're all rather nervous at this point. Evelyn and Danny follow her and Katelyn is wondering whether she should follow them or have a word with Father when he says, clearly, "It's good to have you home, Evelyn."

That one sentence removes much of the tension from the atmosphere, and suddenly she can breathe easily again. Evelyn doesn't say anything, but nods in agreement as her shoulders sag with relief; after all, it wasn't Katelyn or Mother who banished her in the first place. Evelyn knows very well where her room is, but waits for Mother to lead her to it and open the door before walking in. Danny almost follows her in, but Mother stops him with a hand on his arm. "You can't stay in here, silly. There's a guest room down the hall. I'll show you where it is."

Katelyn catches the look they exchange; she wants to point out to Mother, oblivious as ever, that what she's doing is shutting the stable doors after the horses have bolted.

XXXXX

When they come downstairs again, more comfortably attired, the lunch table is set. Mother spent days agonising over the menu and it finally came down to shepherd's pie for mains and fruit ice for dessert. Nobody is interested in the food, however. They sit in an awkward silence for a while, all wondering where to begin the process of getting to know each other again and for a while the only sound that fills the dining room is the clink of cutlery against china.

"So, how have you all been?" Evelyn kickstarts the conversation; she's always been the gutsy one.

"We get along," Father answers. "I left Boeing in '39. I work for Northern Pipe Line now; engineering and suchlike. Katelyn teaches."

"Oh." Evelyn looks at her now. "Piano, I guess."

"Of course. But enough about us. What've you been up to?"

"Well, I joined the Navy." Evelyn shakes her head, smiling to herself. "I've been up and down the country, literally. I was first in Washington, then Jersey, Orleans, then New York and then…Hawaii."

It takes a while for what she is saying to sink in, but when it does, Mother gasps. "Hawaii? Were you in Pearl Harbor?"

"Yeah."

"On that day?" Even Father sounds shocked.

"Yes. We both were."

And then Katelyn realises where she's seen Danny before. It was in a grainy photograph in a newspaper she read a long time ago, back when the country was still reeling from the shock of being attacked. "Oh my God, you're one of the pilots who managed to get in the air."

"Yeah. It's not just me, though. There were others."

"Did you have combat experience before that?" Father, as ever, trying to rate Danny's flying skills. He considered himself the best of his squadron and still cannot get over the fact that they let him go because of a minor medical problem which, according to him, never affected his performance in the air.

Danny shakes his head. "Never. But one of the other guys did, from Eagle Squadron, and if it weren't for him, I think we wouldn't have done quite as well."

"Danny's too modest. He's a great pilot. I've seen him fly."

"They gave you a medal, right?"

Danny nods. "Silver star."

"And promoted him to Captain. And that's not all he's racked up."

Danny looks uncomfortable. "Uh…yeah, they gave me a DFC for the Doolittle raid."

Silence falls over the table. They're sitting in the presence of a true hero, although you wouldn't guess it from the way he awkwardly picks at his lunch, avoiding their shocked stares. And he looks so young. In that moment, Katelyn realises just how sheltered the three of them have been from the war; sure, they read the papers, felt the pinch of rationing and bought war bonds, but this has brought home, literally, the fact that there are people out there fighting and dying to allow them to carry on living in oblivion. People like Danny, who despite being the most courageous person she's ever met, doesn't seem to think he's a hero. People like Evelyn.

"So you're on leave now?" Father breaks the silence this time.

Again, Danny and Evelyn exchange glances. It is plain to see that they are close, so much so that they, her family, are the outsiders here. Then again, they faced Pearl Harbor together. What has her so-called family ever done for her?

"No. We quit. I've had enough." Evelyn speaks in a whisper, but Katelyn can clearly hear the weariness in her voice.

Mother too, apparently, because she strokes Evelyn's hair tenderly and says "It's okay. You're home now."

Evelyn's silence to that statement is more telling than anything she could have said.

XXXXX

Dinner turns out to be somewhat more awkward than lunch. How do you speak to someone who turns up out of the blue after a lengthy separation caused by still-existent issues and bearing a minefield of baggage? Katelyn only realises that she has stepped into one of these mines when she asks the two lovebirds how they met. Evelyn and Danny quickly look at each other and she can practically see the scramble to come up with an acceptable answer.

Danny speaks first. "Uh…we ran into each other after a movie that we both walked out of because it wasn't funny. We had coffee and then dating and then…well, here we are."

"But how did you know her?" Father presses, spotting the fact that they had yet to reveal how they actually met.

This time, Evelyn answers. "Both our..." she searched for a word "…units were given leave at the same time, since we were all being transferred to Pearl Harbor. One of the girls in our regiment knew one of the guys in his squadron and we all met in the railway station. But we didn't really hit it off until we met in Oahu."

"What happened to that girl and boy?" Mother asks the question that she is about to. It sounds like a lovely story.

Evelyn pales. "They bombed the hospital. She didn't make it." At that, Danny almost imperceptibly nudges her shoulder with his own, as if to say 'I'm here for you' and Katelyn has to bite down on her lip to keep from smiling insipidly.

XXXXX

It is midnight, and everybody is in their respective rooms. Katelyn doubts that most of them will be getting proper sleep, though. She cannot. They used to be so close when they were younger; she smiles, remembering the things they used to get up to.

XXXXX

_Katelyn held the chair steady as Evelyn tiptoed on it, reaching for the jar of quarters Mother kept on the top shelf. The ice-cream man would be coming around the corner any time now; they were normally forbidden to have sweets in the afternoon, but Mother was not home today and Greta was napping. If they were really quiet, they might just get away with this. _

_There was a faint metallic clink as Evelyn popped the lid and more clinking as she reached for enough quarters. _

"_Sssshhhh."_

"_You shush," Evelyn hissed back. She dropped the quarters into the pocket of her frock and replaced the jar. She was just in time, because the faint strains of the ice-cream man's jingle became apparent. They climbed out of the open window, which was easier for Evelyn on account of her smaller frame, and reached the curb just in time to catch him. _

"_Why, hello little ladies. What can I do for you all today?" he asked, smiling kindly. His arms were tanned were he reached out in the sun to hand over ice-cream and take money, but were pale above the elbow. _

"_I want a chocolate cone." Evelyn never asked; she demanded. _

_He scooped a generous amount into a wafer cone and handed it to her wrapped in tissue paper. "Careful now, missie. Don't want to ruin your pretty dress."_

_Evelyn sticks her tongue out at him. "I won't."_

XXXXX

Rolling over, Katelyn sighs. Things sure have changed. She cannot help but remember the way Evelyn kept glancing at Danny; unconsciously turning to him for support when she was right there in front of her. Once upon a time, she would have silently had her sister's back. Then again, she forfeited that right on the night she just let Father banish her for wanting nothing more than to follow her calling in life.

Truth is, things changed long before that night. Slowly, as they grew, Katelyn and Evelyn grew apart in both demeanour and closeness. Evelyn was always the wilful one, ever ready to demand from their parents what she felt she was entitled to. Katelyn, on the other hand, always took into account the fact that Father was somewhat broken after being discharged from the Corps and that Mother had more than enough on her plate keeping herself and the family together without having to deal with Evelyn's untimely rebellion. She found herself taking their side more and more as they became teenagers; their disapproval became hers as well, and somewhere along the line they stopped backing each other up.

Well, Katelyn thinks, no more. She has spent six years wishing she had been a better sister, and there is no time like the present to start making things right again. It is late, but she still throws off her sheets and makes her way to Evelyn's room. She contemplates knocking, but decides not to just in case Mother, who is a light sleeper, hears the sound as well. When she pushes the door open, Katelyn realises that she should have knocked.

Danny and Evelyn are both sitting in her bed, in a nest of blankets. She's sitting between his legs, her back to his chest, and his arms encircle her shoulders; their heads are bowed together and they're both in the middle of a whispered conversation, which she of course interrupted. For a short moment, they look panicked, but then realise that it is just her and not, heaven forbid, Father. She can imagine just how he would have taken to this little scene.

"Kate? Something wrong?"

"No…I…I just came to talk, but you're obviously busy and I'll go now."

"No, wait. Please. We're not in the middle of anything important." Evelyn almost sounds desperate to get her to stay.

Danny must have picked up on that too, because he gracefully slips out of the embrace. "Yeah, stay. I was just about to leave anyway. It's been a long day." He bends down and kisses Evelyn on the cheek. "Night, Ev."

Katelyn watches him silently slink to the guest room before closing the door behind her.

"Well?" Evelyn asks.

"Well, tell me everything."

XXXXX

They talk until the sun comes up, about anything and everything. She tells Evelyn about breaking up with Andrew, her banker boyfriend, how Mother and Father almost stopped speaking when she left and the gorgeous summer dress she bought recently. Evelyn tells her about how she almost quit the Navy because of the gruelling training even the nurses went through, the wild abandon with which they partied and how beautiful the sunsets over Pearl Harbor were.

Katelyn sighs, picturing Evelyn and Danny soaring above the clouds; of course he is the romantic type. "Oh, Evelyn, I wish my love life were half as interesting as yours."

Evelyn's eyes darken for a moment and she toys with her blanket. "You don't know how many times I've cried myself to sleep, Kate. You don't know what it is like to hear that …" she chokes for a moment and Katelyn freezes. "…hear that they've lost radio contact with the pilots."

"I didn't kn-"

She gets cut off. "No, I know what you meant. And you're right. Danny's an absolute darling. I don't think I've been so loved before. I was just being, I don't know, depressed."

There is something Evelyn is not telling her. She can sense it, but decides that if Evelyn wants some space, the least she can do is give it to her. "And he's friggin' hot!"

Evelyn smiles at that, widely. "I suppose."

"Don't be coy. My god, what eyes. And his hair. It's kinda long, but it works, you know? I wonder what he looks like shirtless."

"Absolutely gorgeous," Evelyn says with a sigh. "He's a bit on the skinny side, but like you said, it works. Still, it's a bit annoying to have a boyfriend who looks better and younger than you."

"Yeah, I was going to ask you something about that. How old is he exactly?"

"Twenty-three this year."

"And you're going to be twenty seven. Oh my."

She gets a glare of death. "Don't say it."

"He doesn't look twenty three though."

"I just told you not to say it. In ten years time I'm going to be a wrinkled old hag and he's going to look like a Greek god. I know. There's no need to rub my face in it."

Katelyn laughs. She has missed this; the banter and the insults. Things you can only say to your sister because no friend, however close, will take such barbs lightly.

"Yeah, you're already showing signs of wear and tear."

"Look who's talking!" Evelyn exclaims. "You're the one who is unmarried at almost thirty."

"Twenty-nine, mind you."

They are still talking when Mother raps on the door and asks them to come down for breakfast.

XXXXX

It turns out that Evelyn is here for a reason. She wants the keys to the summer house in Wisconsin.

Katelyn doesn't know what to feel at the revelation. One part of her, a very large part, is glad that she came back at all and that things have been set more or less straight between the four of them. Another part of her recognises that Evelyn might never have returned at all if not for needing those keys, and that makes her bitter because it means that she made no place for them in her life. Then again, she could hardly take the fall for reaching that decision, could she? It drives home the fact that while they could banter like they used to, Danny is Evelyn's family now. In the end, Katelyn decides, she feels cranky and short-changed by the way things have turned out.

Mother looks upset at the thought of her leaving again, and Katelyn feels sorry for the poor woman. Did she really expect Evelyn to just move back in and carry on like six years of independence never happened?

Father looks like he shares the same thoughts and reservations as her, but agrees graciously to hand over the keys. He has changed, she can see now; the years and the guilt of driving her away have mellowed him. His happiness to have her back comes across clearly in the way he acquiesces to her every request, the way he accepts Danny's presence in her life with nary a question. After the way he grilled Andrew, she is surprised to see him quietly overlook the way Danny kisses her every morning, or the way Evelyn practically sits in his lap on the settee.

When Father hands the keys to Evelyn, it feels like closure somehow. Like turning the final page of a chapter. It is right but also sad, and Katelyn cannot help but wonder whether she will ever see her sister again.

XXXXX

And so, twelve days after the arrival of the letter, Evelyn leaves again. This time, however, the separation is amicable and bittersweet in the way all goodbyes are.

Mother is on the verge of tears; she will spend the better part of next week picking up the pieces of her shattered heart. She just hopes that they make it out of the railway station before the inevitable breakdown.

"You take care of yourself, okay, dear? And write to us. And if you need anything, anything at all, just ask okay?"

Evelyn has tears in her eyes too. "Yes, Mother." She hugs the smaller woman tightly and again Katelyn is struck with the feeling that Evelyn does not plan to come back. Then again, she doesn't really know what a proper farewell feels like, so maybe that is what this feeling is.

Father wraps his arms around Evelyn. "I'm proud of you, Evelyn. Don't ever think otherwise. And the doors are always open."

"Thank you. All of you."

"Oh, get going already. We've been saying goodbye forever." She hopes the weak joke hides the tears that are threatening to form in her eyes.

Danny smiles and says something to himself, but she catches it nonetheless. "Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say goodnight 'til it be morrow."

There is time for one last round of hugs before the signalman waves his flag and the couple leap onto the slowly moving train, all the while waving at them. Katelyn watches the train disappear around the bend, taking her sister away from the family that raised her and realises what it is she was feeling all along. She has grown, Evelyn, and she is her own person now. She loves them and they love her, but they no longer need each other the way they used to. They never will.

XXXXX

_Well, whadday think? _

_Go on and REVIEW. Make me _:D


	11. Danny III

_hey y'all! it's been a while, I know. What can I say; it's been a hell of a month, and this is Danny I'm writing for. _

XXXXX

When Evelyn said that the summer house was pretty excluded, she wasn't kidding. It is a good two hour drive from the smallish town of St. Croix and there are no neighbours in sight, although the existence of other dirt roads leading off into the forest indicates that there are other houses out there somewhere. The summer house is in fact a two-storey log cabin with a veranda and a balcony; Lake St. Croix is but a stone's throw from the back of the house, a vast expanse of pure blue bordered by dark green wilderness. The earth beneath their feet is dark and loamy, and sustains a wide variety of delicate green plants that could never hope to survive in the harsh Tennessee sun. When they arrive, they are greeted by birdsong and a cool, gentle breeze. It is breathtakingly beautiful and not unlike what wilderness books like the Little House series and Uncle Tom's Cabin conjure up in the imagination.

He takes a deep breath of the cool mountain air; they are not actually on a mountain, but it the highest they've been from sea level for a long time and he can feel the difference in the air; it is crisp, dry and almost sweet.

XXXXX

"I spoke to Harald again today, and he says that it'll take him more than a week to rustle up a Stearman. And that's without taking account of its condition or the price." Rafe takes a bite from his sandwich and continues speaking with his mouth full. "Makes me wonder whether we should just settle for a De Havilland."

Evelyn shrugs. They are both waiting for his reaction, but for the life of him, he just doesn't have one. All he can think of is the finality of buying a crop-duster; once they became certified agriculturists, or farmers, as Rafe would say, there would be no going back. It feels like he's painting himself into a corner when he really shouldn't be. Rafe seems to have forgotten that this arrangement is meant to be temporary, and that once Evelyn makes her choice, it is unlikely that any of them will even continue living in Wisconsin. To form such strong ties to the place is a bad move, but Danny can't say that out loud, not when everybody seems so happy here. It has only been a fortnight since they moved in, but the place already feels more like a home than a halfway house.

"If you're going to pull the same stunts here that we used to back home, I don't think the Tiger Moth can take it. And I know you, Rafe. You will."

"Don't tell me you're not going to."

"I didn't say I wouldn't. That's my point. It's worth waiting for the Stearman."

"I've never flown in a crop-duster before," Evelyn says.

"I'll take you up," he promises. "You'll love it."

XXXXX

His room has a view of the lake and an honest-to-goodness balcony. Thankfully, there are three bedrooms in the house, so they each have one. Evelyn, of course, sleeps in the master bedroom; his and Rafe's rooms are on either side of her room. It feels weird to have a room all to himself. Ever since his Dad died, he has never really had a room to call his own; he shared Rafe's room for as long as he lived with the MacCawleys, and then moved to barracks. He's embarrassed to admit that he slept uneasily for the first few nights, constantly tempted to peek into their rooms to check whether they were still there.

XXXXX

They have settled into a comfortable routine of sorts and it surprises Danny how quickly it happened. Evelyn found herself a comfortable job as a nurse at the local clinic, which is in the middle of the small village at the foot of the hill; it takes her an hour to walk there in the mornings, and the doctor kindly offered to drop her off in the evenings and has been doing so since. Rafe works at the pub five days a week, helping out the sole bartender; it is no walk in the park, but he seems to enjoy it. He isn't surprised. Rafe has a knack for charming his way past people's defences and is certainly friendly enough to be good company. And him?

It still makes him smile when he remembers it. The village has a small library at the end of the street, and his heart leapt at the sight of it. It had been too long since he properly read something. The thought of finding some of the classics, and goodness knows what else, excited him; whilst he loved his time in the Army Air Corps, it did little to satisfy the academic side of him. It was closed though, and he turned up three days in a row to find it exactly the same. Then Millie, the grocer's wife mentioned that the librarian, a fragile old man named Jack Kevorkian, had simply grown too old to properly look after the books and with the war going on, there was no one interested in keeping the place up and running. It didn't take much more than a short visit and a cup of tea for him to become the town's interim librarian.

It is a light job compared to what Rafe and Evelyn do; his hours are short and browsing through the shelves of disused books hardly feels like work. The collection of books is small and as varied as the citizens of the town. There are, of course, some of the old staples; War and Peace, Jane Austen and Of Mice and Men. He's discovered some rarer texts hiding between the various dog-eared romances and outdated academicals, like the anthology of Baba Yaga tales in the children's section and an almanac of winter plants. He takes Wednesdays and Fridays off, simply because he can. On Saturdays, the Hough children come in at 9.00 am sharp. Deanna, the eldest, likes practical books; things about cooking and gardening and mending. Samuel, the middle child, is quiet and sometimes surly, but his tastes vary like the colours of the rainbow. Danny has seen him read tomes about molluscs and Beatrix Potter's Tales of Peter Rabbit in the same sitting; the boy is a voracious reader, if nothing else. A kindred spirit, then. The youngest, Joanna, is only two and has no interest in books, so he keeps her occupied while her older siblings read, teaching her how to fold paper planes and letting her water the potted plants around the library.

On the second Wednesday of their new routine, Rafe and Ev are working and he decides to explore the woods around the lake. Now that he is more familiar with the landscape, he can see a few houses like the Johnsons' dotting the edges of the lake, but it is still very much a wilderness. Shoving a compass into his pocket and filling a bottle with water, he sets off towards the west, where the forest is thickest.

The trees here are tall; they have been standing longer than he has lived. Maple. Poplar. Elm and oak. Every now and again, he spots an evergreen; pine, spruce and fir. There are cottontails in the area, cute little bastards that disappear almost as soon as he catches sight of them. He reminds himself not to tell Rafe, since he has no qualms about hunting and thinks that rabbit steak is a delicacy. To be fair, he likes rabbit too, but the idea of killing these little guys seems wrong. He's seen an eagle twice already, although whether it was the same eagle or different ones remains a mystery. The forest is never quiet; even now, he can hear so many sounds, some of which he can recognise and some of which he cannot, all coming together in a peaceful forest symphony. The wind rustles the leaves and unseen birds sing all around him, and more than once he thinks he can hear the lake itself rippling.

The sun rises higher and higher in the sky, but the air remains pleasantly cool and the trees shade him from the sun's rays, even though it is nowhere near as harsh as the Tennessee sunshine. He is just about to turn around and head back when he spots a clearing through the trees. Approaching the clearing cautiously, although as a human he has little to fear here, he peers through the trees. It is amazing. Whatever instinct told him to approach quietly rang true, because there is a herd of fallow deer frolicking in the grass, their white-spotted coats flashing in the sunlight. He holds his breath, not wanting to scare them away with his alien presence. They are truly beautiful, all of them; from the proud, antlered buck lifting his massive head every now and again to survey his brood, to the does and yearlings and fawns, all dancing through the long grass. In contrast with such raw beauty, his life has never felt more unreal. In all the war and fighting and uncertainty about Evelyn, it is easy to forget life is more than just ideals and principles. Sometimes, all there is to life is just living it. It's something he's forgotten.

XXXXX

"Okay sirs, just sign here and that's it."

Rafe's eyes are shining. His friend is so full of life and light, something which he hasn't seen since the day he returned from England. It seems like this simple life is unshackling him from the weights he picked up during his travels.

A sharp elbow to his side brings Danny firmly back to the present. They've finally tracked down the elusive Stearman and paid for it by scrounging what little they had in their respective bank accounts together. Evelyn offered to pay too, but they both were adamant that she shouldn't. She had already given them both so much.

"Go ahead. You sign first."

And just like that, Danny finds that he can't do it. Rafe's earnest and increasingly confused eyes are fixed on him, probably wondering why he's blinking at them like this. Mr. Potter just looks impatient. He just can't make himself pick up the pen and sign the agreement; it feels like he's signing his life away. Sure, crop-dusting is fun. It's something he knows how to do and it's something they're both good at. Doesn't mean that he wants to be doing this his entire life. It doesn't mean that he wants to regress to his teenage self just because war is ugly and it's made him more cynical.

"Uhhhm, why don't you just sign it? Doesn't have to be in both our names."

Rafe looks incredulous. Danny can't blame him. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. I just…if we sign this, there's no going back. We're officially in the agricultural business."

"Yeah, I get that."

"So, it means we're stuck in it until the war's over, whether that's tomorrow or in ten years. I'm not…" he can't bring himself to say it, but he just cannot see himself going back to the life that their fathers had lived and they grew up in; he can't see what his life will be like in the next six months, let alone ten years.

Rafe understands. He always does.

Mr. Potter, ignored thus far, adds "Only one person needs to sign it and she's yours. You aren't changing your minds, right?"

"No, we'll take her. But it'll just be in his name."

Rafe still looks unhappy about it, which of course means that they are going to have a long conversation about this whether he wants to or not, but right now he quietly signs the document.

Mr. Potter beams. "Alright gentlemen. She's over at F hangar on the private airfield. You know where that is. I told the guys about the change of ownership, so you shouldn't have any trouble taking her out anytime now."

"Trust us, Mr. Potter, we haven't flown in so long a hurricane couldn't keep us away," he says, ignoring the look of surprise on Rafe's face.

XXXXX

They're walking back to the house and he's ready for the ball to drop anytime now. Rafe keeps looking at him out of the corner of his eye, like he's studying him; Danny knows well enough that Rafe is wondering whether he's okay, whether something is troubling him that he's not letting on. It's all part of the protective older brother package, see. It's annoying and reassuring at the same time, because as much as he doesn't want to go into all the reasons for his actions back at Mr. Potter's place, the fact that Rafe is willing to nag him into doing just that shows just how much his friend still cares for him, in spite of everything.

"Just say it already."

Rafe regards him coolly. "Say what, exactly?"

He's being difficult. Then again, he's earned the right to be. "Whatever it is you wanna say about me not wanting to sign for the duster."

The older man shrugs. "I was gonna, but then I thought about what you said. You're right. We don't know how long this war is gonna go on. Maybe you wanna be a librarian instead of a crop-duster someday. It doesn't really matter whose name the plane's in. Never did back then, so why should it now?"

Danny nudges his shoulder roughly, making Rafe stumble slightly in the middle of a step. "Thanks for understanding."

Rafe makes a face. "What's with all the touchy-feely, huh? I didn't do nothing I ain't been doing for years already."

"Yeah, I know."

XXXXX

One day, when Rafe is busy discussing variants of insecticide with a local wheat farmer, he takes Evelyn to his secret clearing. There are no deer here today, but the dew on the leaves reflect and refract the sunlight so they are bathed in beautiful light; purple and orange and green at the same time, it makes her eyes go wide with wonder and his heart fill with something he cannot find words for.

They lie side by side in the soft grass, talking and giggling like they used to. If he closes his eyes, he can make himself believe for a moment that they're still in Hawaii, innocent and carefree.

"Danny, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Do I know anything about you that Rafe doesn't?"

It's a curveball he couldn't have seen coming in a thousand years. He knows they surprise her sometimes with their closeness, like when they finish each other's sentences or know better than her what they other wants. It's something he assumed up 'til now will wear off eventually. Then again, she doesn't sound half-serious and he wonders if maybe he's reading too much into the question. Goodness knows what that would say about him.

"Ummm, what it's like to kiss me?"

That gets a laugh from her. "Well, there's an answer to a question I never knew how to ask."

Ouch. He's not dignifying that with a response. "Seriously, Ev, whaddaya want me to say?"

She sighs. "It's nothing, really. I just wish I knew something about at least one of you that the other doesn't."

He can't give her 20 years of familiarity, but this; this is something he can, so he does. "Every year, even now, I get some form of a birthday cake. Rafe makes sure of that. I outgrew it a long time ago, but it makes him feel better about my childhood, so I let him carry on." He pauses a while, wondering whether it is actually a good idea to tell her something so stupid. "Anyway, I've asked for the same thing every year since he started doing it."

She props herself up on an elbow and looks at him.

"A puppy."

It's the first time he's told anyone, and he vaguely wonders if by telling he's jinxed his chances forever.

"I used to wish in earnest, but now it's just a matter of principle. I want a damn puppy."

He's gotten lost in his explanation that it's a surprise when he catches the look on her face; it's a mixture of love and exasperation and sympathy. "Ev?"

She leans down and kisses him, ever so gently. He tugs on her arm, gently also, so that she's almost lying on top of him, her dark tresses falling around her face and over him. Her lips are soft and yielding, and he kisses her like a man in a desert drinks at the first spring he finds. She finally breaks the kiss to drop her head on his chest, right over his heart, like she used to long, long ago when it was just them and the sound waves crashing on the Oahu beach.

XXXXX

It is late afternoon, and the two of them are in the house tinkering with something or rather when Danny walks out to the lake. Sitting on the wooden fence, he watches as the gently rippling blue waters ignite with the colours of the dying sun and in that moment, realises something very important. This is a good place. It's not Tennessee or Hawaii, but this is a better home for them now than either place would be. He's spent so long pining for the idyllic innocence of the island that he's been blind to the significance of _here_. The land is rich, the air is clean and the people are friendly without being nosy; it is not what he would have picked for them, but he can see now that it is exactly what they need. And despite his reluctance to put down roots here, they have. And it hasn't broken them or given them hopes for things they cannot have or anything else he used to fear. If anything, it's given them time and space to heal. Now that he is seeing things with fresh eyes, he can see a future for them here; one in which Evelyn is content and Rafe is free from the demons that haunt him still. They can be happy here. They are.

And with that realisation comes something Danny has not felt for a long time; peace.

XXXXX

_NOTE: During mid to end ww2, persons involved in the agricultural sector were not permitted to leave their jobs to join the army, simply because massive quantities of food needed to be produced. _

_To all of you who have REVIEWed thus far, thank you so much and keep 'em coming :)_


	12. Evelyn IV

_hey, everyone!_

_I realise that it has been absolutely ages since I last updated and I apologise for this. I really do get riled at people who leave fics hanging, and never thought I'd end up doing the same one day._

_Anyway, enough pointless author yammering. On with the show._

_XXXXX_

The dying days of summer have beautiful sunsets. She learns this firsthand when, true to his word, Danny takes her up one evening. A flush of jealousy had crept up Rafe's face when he asked her, but it was gone quickly, hidden behind the stone walls that come up in his eyes whenever they are together. Her heart breaks a little everytime she hurts him like that and sometimes she wonders if she could have saved him all the pain if she had just turned him down when he offered her champagne and the promise of an epic romance.

But when she's up there with Danny, she forgets all that. He has this ability to show her life, undiluted and uncomplicated; to take joy in the mere act of living. Then he dips so low over the lake that the blue surface breaks into white tops and it feels like they're going to crash and she's screaming with both fear and excitement and in that moment, she comes alive like only he can make her. Just before the plane strikes the surface of the water, he pulls it sharply upward and they're heading up; up the long, delirious, burning blue sky.

XXXXX

She jolts awake one night, trembling and covered in cold sweat, her mind racing from the nightmare that she left the service to escape from. They're not so frequent now, these nightmare-remembrances, now that she's here and so far removed from anything that reminds her of the war that's still raging around them, but every now and again when she thinks she's finally shrugged off the mantle of her unhappy past, the nightmares return to remind her that she'll never fully outrun the events of that day.

The bed and room feel too big, too empty all of a sudden; all she can hear is the sound of her own rapid breathing. The silence is stifling, as is the heavy blanket draped over her body. She shrugs it off and pads into the hallway, unconsciously seeking company.

Rafe on her right, Danny on her left. Moments like these make it clear that the clock is ticking and she will eventually have to choose for real, like she's choosing now. Rafe will cheer her up, no doubt, with his bright personality and boyish charm. Still, it's painfully obvious now that he's more subdued, more scarred than her by the things he has seen. Danny knows better than anyone what she feels, and how to let her work through it in her own way, but she's not entirely sure that it's what she wants right now. He seems less affected by the war than them, but she knows that it's only because he's always been haunted by memories; the darkness in his eyes was there before that day.

She almost walks back to the room when she hears faint sounds coming from the living room. She listens for a moment and hears Rafe's voice. It is too faint for her to make out exactly what he's saying, but she can hear from the tone that he's in a relatively good mood. A moment later, she catches the lower timbre of Danny's voice in the conversation.

What in Heaven's name are they doing up at this time of the night? She tiptoes to the stairs and peeks into the living room. It is empty. Curiousity thoroughly piqued, she walks down the stairs and into the living room. The voices drift in again, but now that she's closer to the source, she realises that they are coming from the porch outside. Evelyn pushes the door open and is surprised to see her boyfriends sitting on the porch, comically wrapped in blankets and looking back at her like deer caught in headlights.

"What in Heaven's name is going on here?"

Danny smiles at her outburst. "How apt. Look up."

She does.

Colours dance through the dark night sky; a gleaming curtain of deep red and bright green. Evelyn's never seen anything like this before; never seen such bright and magnificent beauty. She forgets that she's standing outside in little more than a slip until Rafe drapes his blanket around her shoulders.

"It's named after the Roman goddess of dawn, Aurora."

Dawn. As she sits between Rafe and Danny and the three of them look up into the sky, Evelyn thinks that this is indeed the dawn; the darkest hour of their lives have passed and dawn is finally here.

XXXXX

It comes out of the blue, the wedding invitation. She's popped into the grocer's to pick up whatever measly ration of vegetables have escaped conscript this week when she runs into Mrs Jameson. The middle-aged woman is practically alight with joy as she speaks to the grocer, and Evelyn catches a sentence or two about tulle and lace. It takes only a moment for it to click in her mind after that, because she used to entertain these ivory fantasies as well, especially in the early days of the war before Rafe's disappearance.

"Oh, Evelyn!" Mrs Jameson rounds on her as scoops her groceries into her arms, on the verge of leaving. "Have you heard? My Jeannie is getting married this Saturday."

"Well, congratulations. That's wonderful news." Evelyn's smile is wide and genuine, but there is a faint bitterness in her heart that wasn't there before. "Do we know the groom?"

"Oh, yes. He's the grandson of that Potter fellow who sold your husband the crop-duster."

"Ah. You must be so excited."

"Of course. Mother of the bride. To be honest, I think I'm more excited than she is. But look at me, blathering away. You must come, both to the wedding and reception. It's not much, of course, but-"

"I'm honoured to be invited. It's been so long since I've been to a wedding."

Mrs Jameson laughs at that. "Your own couldn't have been that long ago. And do bring your husband and that delightful boy of yours."

His name is Danny, Evelyn's inner voice growls, and he's not a boy.

"I will. Give my best to Jeanne."

XXXXX

The sun-kissed mid-autumn evening forms the perfect backdrop for Jeanne Jameson's wedding and reception. The wine and cider have been flowing for a good while now and most of the guests are on the wrong side of tipsy. Evelyn carries her shoes in one hand, preferring to walk barefoot on the cool grass than risk tripping in her less than sober state. It was apparently Jeanne's idea to have the reception in the garden of the Jameson house, and it was a good decision. The weather is lovely; cool but not overly so. The birds have not yet left for the south and throughout dinner they were treated to the songs of the various nuthatches, titmice and mockingbirds that came to beg scraps off their plates. Dinner was a triumph for creativity, given the shortages caused by rationing. There was roast duck, shot in the forest, carrot soup flavoured with sage and thyme and a modestly sized black treacle cake with butter icing. The birds disappeared after dinner, but a few uncles with flutes and an accordion have been singing for the crowd ever since.

The ceremony itself was a simple affair in the village church; the bride wore a homemade dress with a tulle skirt and lace sleeves. Evelyn's mother used to tell her that you could see how much a girl was loved by the amount of lace on her wedding dress. Having tried her hand at lacework before, Evelyn could only marvel at those who had the dedication to work with the hopelessly delicate bobbins. Dave Potter was very well turned out in a suit and his shoes looked spit-shined to within an inch of their lives.

Her own men weren't too shabby, either. Rafe borrowed a suit from the Jameson patriarch; slightly too narrow at the shoulders for him, but otherwise a good fit. Danny, however, chose to wear his uniform. Evelyn was shocked to see him in it, but didn't know how to tell him to wear something else. In the end, she didn't. Nobody seemed to notice how odd a picture they painted, though, and as the evening wore on, she stopped worrying that someone would suddenly rip her carefully portrayed charade to pieces.

She glances at him now. He's sitting on the fence cutting between the banks of the lake and the Jameson property, silhouetted by the setting sun. The silver wings on his chest, tenderly polished, catch the dying sun's rays and shine brilliantly. As is typical of Danny, he sits alone, gazing not at the happy party but at the lake and mountains far beyond. Will there ever come a day when he is not haunted, Evelyn wonders, when he will dance with her and completely lose himself in happiness?

Speaking of dancing, Rafe is busy making her the envy of the village women by being the most exciting dancer on the makeshift dancefloor of grass and flowers. He spins Lauren Jameson, already out of breath, around and around with a wicked grin on his face while her beau watches with envy in his eyes. Any other woman would have been jealous, but Evelyn finds the concept laughable now. Rafe very nearly threw away that which he loved more than life itself for her sake; she certainly wasn't going to lose him to some younger, breathier village girl.

Still smiling at his charm, Evelyn makes her way over to Danny. His eyes follow her as she pulls herself up onto the fence beside him, but he says nothing to her. A sudden, unpleasant thought crosses her mind.

"You're not angry with me, are you?"

The surprise in his eyes is genuine. "Angry? At what?"

"For telling them you're like our son. For you not being able to kiss me here?"

He laughs quietly at that. "I'd forgotten, to be honest." Another giggle. "Thank God I didn't try to kiss you. That'd have given them something to talk about."

She laughs too. Danny turns away from her to look at the lake again and she gets a chance to properly take in the sight of him. His fringe, which had been allowed to grow uncontrolled, falls into his eyes and the longest strand brushes his sharp cheekbone. His soft brown eyes glimmer gently in the fading light and she's filled with a sense of wonderment at the depth of emotion within them.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes." She's answering a different question, though.

He turns to look at her again and suddenly, she cannot read his eyes anymore. There is a sort of sadness in them that she hasn't seen in a long time. A different sadness to the one she is used to. The sort of sadness that she only saw on that damned island, but she blinks and he's suddenly unfathomable as always.

"I was wrong, you know. I didn't want to come here. I thought things would be weird and uncomfortable and...and..." he trails off, casting around for words. Evelyn doesn't know why he's telling her this now, but he so very rarely tells anyone how he truly feels that she doesn't dare interrupt for fear of scaring him back into silence.

He smiles then. "But I was wrong. Coming here was what we needed. There's so much to live for, here. I've never seen you so happy, or Rafe, even. It's so peaceful. I don't think I ever understood what peace was before this. "

And there it is. All the light heartedness she felt earlier evaporates the instant she realises what he's trying to tell her and she wishes desperately not to know. It cannot be true. She looks into his eyes then, but finds in them none of the earlier enigma, only the unhappy truth.

"You're leaving."

He doesn't deny it.

"Why?" Her voice breaks, just a little, and tears cloud her vision. "Danny, why?"

"If you ask me to stay, I will." She looks into his eyes again and sees that he has given her his life to do with what she will. He will stay if she asks, and he will not for a moment hold it against her. She wants nothing more. With all her heart, she wants nothing more, but the words will not come. When she does speak, the words that come tumbling from her lips break the veneer of the illusion that she's trying so hard to maintain.

"I love you. I always will." She doesn't need to say anything more.

Danny's lips quirk upwards in a semblance of a smile, but there is sympathy in his eyes. Sorrow, too.

"Just, please, tell me why."

He sighs. 'I'm not done. Rafe fought in England before I even had the sense to realise what was going on in the world. And then we went on the mission together, I got hurt and he lost his stomach for fighting. Fair enough. But I didn't."

He takes a deep breath. "I'm not saying that I haven't been nearly killed enough times. Or that I want to rack up as many kills as Rafe. It's not as simple as that. It feels wrong to sit here and stagnate when I know I could be doing something. I-" a wry smile crosses his face. 'I know I'm not a hero. I'm not delusional to think I can end drive the other side into retreat or even win a single battle. But I know I can make a difference, and it feels wrong not to try."

Evelyn feels her heart shatter, but smiles through it. She's sure a few tears have escaped despite her efforts not to smudge her make-up, but she'll be damned if she's going to make this difficult for Danny.

"I understand. Sometimes home is not where you need to be, no matter how much everyone else wants you there."

She raises a hand to his cheek and Danny leans in to the touch. "You'll always have a home here. Always."

"Thank you."

"Damn straight." She tries to laugh through the pain. "You have no idea how much you owe me. I don't know how manymore tearful farewells I can do."

Danny brushes a tear from her cheek. "I wouldn't have asked, but I didn't know what you would say."

"Rafe will ask you to stay, you know."

"That's why I'm not asking him."

They both turn around at that moment. Rafe is still dancing, this time with Mrs Jameson, grinning widely. Danny has changed, Evelyn realises vaguely. Or she's changed. And Rafe too. She remembers when she asked Danny if there was anything she knew about him that Rafe didn't. She does now. She knows what it is to love something enough to let it go. She knows that the Danny she promised to wait for hasn't returned, not completely. And now she knows, Evelyn thinks, what it is like to shoulder the burden of knowing; to be the keeper of that precious thing so easily lost. If she once envied their closeness, she doesn't anymore.

"I have to tell him soon."

"But not tonight."

"No." He pulls her hand, tugs her off the fence and pushes her towards Rafe. There is light and love in his eyes, and Evelyn basks in it even as the sun finally sets and night falls. "Go on, dance. Dance. Laugh. Live. Dance and remember that I love you and most of all, _be happy_."

XXXXX

_Believe me when I say that that was the ending I had planned for the story all along. I may have cut off one or two brotherly bonding scenes in between, but that is not a loss to the telling of this story._

_Do leave me a review; it's been absolutely ages since I've heard from any of you :)_

_Now, as someone very wise once said, "Goodnight, Vienna."_


End file.
